Highly Caffinated Personality Genius am I

Step aside phrenology, Stamford-Benet, tea leaves and Myers-Brigs for a new day has dawned in the field of personality assessment. I have honed my ability to profile people based solely one one defining trait. Equal parts psychology and psychic reading I introduce:

Trey's Starbucks Profiling

I can tell everything I need to about a person based on their Starbucks order. Just let me look at what's written on the heat sleeve and I've got you pegged. Thus the reason most of my 1st dates are at Starbucks. (Also meeting at Starbucks gives you a chance to emergency eject after only 30 minutes.)

What's your drink?
Like "Chai?" You're old.
Like White Chocolate? You're a racist.

I don't want to give away too much to make you self-conscious because I want to put my skills to the test! Read on, McDuff!

A certain young lady told me here favorite Starbucks drink was a Mocha Frap with a shot of Afogatto. This exotic drink order told me she's a people pleaser, with a high self concept who liked to spoil herself sometimes. I'd be willing to bet she bumps above the "basic" manicure and spend those 5 extra bucks to pamper herself. The only thing she didn't tell me in here drink order was size (tall, grande, vente.)

THE CHALLANGE

Post an Anonymous comment with your Starbucks drink order including size and I'll provide a profile. I do ask you let me know if you are Male or Female as this could turn an energetic woman's drink into a fruity man's drink.

Try not to be self-conscious just tell me you "usual" drink. Come back in a day or so and I'll have your profile posted as a comment.

Once Upon a time....

There where three Princesses and a little Prince. The oldest, Madeline loved to sing and dance. The Middle Princess, Matilda, loved to explore. The youngest Princess Marchesca, was the sweetest of the three (which is really saying something.) And the young Prince loved to climb and say, "No." King Gregory had forgotten to buy a present for his Queen, Anastasia... again. And if you forget to buy something on this most romantic of holidays you'll be in big trouble, even if you are the king. So he asked the 3 Princesses and the little Prince to get something for her on this heart filled romantic holiday.

Do you know what Romantic Holiday I'm talking about? The one in February?

"Uhm... I know it... It's uhm.... oh I know! BLACK HISTORY MONTH!"

Ok that really happened. I usually tell McKenzie and Mary Cate bedtime stories about their family in a fantasy world. (I'm the Wizard Yert.) And I always let them suggest things that will happen. But when I asked them about the romantic holiday (just two days after Valentine's day) all I got back was Black History Month. We were all in one bed and I had to laugh silently but Mary Cate with her head on my shoulder asked why my belly was jumping.

I think we've forgotten the romantic impact Black History Month can have on a child.

Valentine's Day Lies

I've written a few times about Valentines day. Here is my offensive power point Trey Laminack vs. Hallmark.

Today I cover Valentine's Day Lies

1) I ordered something a week ago dear.

2) I can't believe they lost our reservation!

3) Don't get me anything dear.

4) I don't like flowers.

5) We've only been dating 2 weeks there's no need make Valentine's day a big deal.

6) This holiday wasn't made by Hallmark.

7) Lets go out, just us girls, who needs men! Not us! We're independent. We'll just blow them off. We aren't desperate and lame. Not us! Girl Power! We are NOT living in denial!

Three Posts in One Week People! Deal with that! I'm prolific baby!

NWA: National Whuppin Association

About a year ago Gary Bing and I created a new National Organization. We swore each other in to make it official. From now on, one of us must swear in new members. We are the NWA. We're getting badges and sweatshirts printed up. What is the NWA?

National Whuppin Association!

We have mandate from Government and Heaven to spank other people's children in public. Why? Because people don't seem to have the gumption to do it themselves.

The purpose is two fold:
1) Provide discipline to children.
2) Provide shame to parents. Although we won't spank an adult over 25 we do hope the shame of us getting involved will spur them to take task 1 into their own hands. Also we'll be fining them the cost of a new leather belt every time we spank someone.

I think moms will like this. Now if their kids are actions up they can say, "Be quiet you never know when an undercover NWA member might be eating in this restaurant." And their kids will have to be quiet because we mean business and we don't count or nothing. "Please sit down. 1.... 2... 2 and a half..." Nope if we say sit, we mean now!

Here is a Hypothetical Scene:

Special Enforcer Laminack is quietly eating his Moons over my Hammy at Denny's. When in the booth behind him the kids seem to be playing what can only be described as a game of "Let's see who can scream the loudest while kicking the booth jamboree." Special Enforcer Laminack provides the law mandated warnings. One, the heavy sigh and the shake of the head while facing forward. No effect. Two, the look over the shoulder, with raised eye brow. No effect. They've been warned.

S.E. Laminack stands up and shows his badge. "Sorry ma'am. S.E. Laminack of the NWA. I'll be starting with the oldest one." The sound of leather clearing belt loops causes the kids to quickly sit and put on church faces, but its too late. The mom only smiles and says, "I warned them."

The mayhem begins.

I'm now accepting applications to swear in others into the NWA. Even if you aren't sworn in you can still give the two standard warning to try and quiet the kids.

I want to be a Christian Revolutionary

What is a Christian Revolutionary?

"They have no use for churches that play religious games, whether those games are worship services that drone on without the presence of God or ministry programs that bear no spiritual fruit. Revolutionaries eschew ministries that compromise or soft sell our sinful nature to expand organizational turf. They refuse to follow people in ministry leadership positions who cast a personal vision rather than God's, who seek popularity rather than the proclamation of truth in their public statements, or who are more concerned about their own legacy than that of Jesus Christ. ... They are unimpressed by accredited degrees and endowed chairs in Christ colleges and seminaries that produce young people incapable of defending the Bible or unwilling to devote their lives to serving others. And Revolutionaries are embarrassed by language that promises Christian love and holiness but turns out to be all sizzle and no substance."
~ George Barna, "Revolution"


This book offers the opening question "Worn-out on Church?" right on its cover. I see our world being filled with people who feel this way. I think me brother is one of these people, who is attracted to the ancient spiritual but put off by the modern church. Some ministers fear that they won't come to church and keep us in our jobs. Not me, I'm exited to think about what this group could do if you offered them something authentic! These people want to passionately LIVE IT! I want the parents at much church to become so involved they put me out of a job. I laugh in the face my 30 year morgage! HAHAHA Homelessness, I've been there, not that bad being Nomadic! No health insurance? Who cares I just won't get sick or I'll just die! No dental? I'll just stop smiling. Wait I don't have dental now.

Its easy to go along with the flow of church. To do things that are ok but not GREAT! To do what is expected, routine and familiar. And those things aren't bad, but sometimes you have to ask youself if your tired of a "That'll-do-attitude." If you find yourself wondering if you could be authentic in your walk with Christ, if you've just been phoneing it in for a decade and you're of being a phoney and fraud, then you just might be a Christian Revolutionary and can I stay at your house when I work myself out of a job?

Superbowl Ramblings

Super Bowl XLI. Somewhere in the third quarter Jeff asked me if Romans did long devision using Roman numerals. We both just sat quietly for a moment trying to imagine it. I figured they started using the abacus because of this.

How many beer commercials do you need? It seems like some products need no advertisement. Do you think people will stop drinking beer all of the sudden? It has been pretty steady human consumption since before agrarian civilization started. In fact, the History Channel said people stopped being nomadic to cultivate barley. But not for bread, for beer. But I'm sure if we skip one Superbowl commercial section everyone will dry up long enough to start drinking wine.

Jeff had a devo during halftime. The kids cried out that they wanted to see Prince perform. I asked them to name one Prince song. They all sat down and had their devo.

Guitar Hero II is the best game ever.

After the game conversation turned to corporal punishment. I think we should send home spanking wavers to the parents of the teens and let Joey go hog wild on them.

I think the best superbowl snake is nachos with little sausages in them with a cookie chaser... wash down with Orangette.

I don't have anything to say about the game I guess.