Highly Caffinated Personality Genius am I

Step aside phrenology, Stamford-Benet, tea leaves and Myers-Brigs for a new day has dawned in the field of personality assessment. I have honed my ability to profile people based solely one one defining trait. Equal parts psychology and psychic reading I introduce:

Trey's Starbucks Profiling

I can tell everything I need to about a person based on their Starbucks order. Just let me look at what's written on the heat sleeve and I've got you pegged. Thus the reason most of my 1st dates are at Starbucks. (Also meeting at Starbucks gives you a chance to emergency eject after only 30 minutes.)

What's your drink?
Like "Chai?" You're old.
Like White Chocolate? You're a racist.

I don't want to give away too much to make you self-conscious because I want to put my skills to the test! Read on, McDuff!

A certain young lady told me here favorite Starbucks drink was a Mocha Frap with a shot of Afogatto. This exotic drink order told me she's a people pleaser, with a high self concept who liked to spoil herself sometimes. I'd be willing to bet she bumps above the "basic" manicure and spend those 5 extra bucks to pamper herself. The only thing she didn't tell me in here drink order was size (tall, grande, vente.)

THE CHALLANGE

Post an Anonymous comment with your Starbucks drink order including size and I'll provide a profile. I do ask you let me know if you are Male or Female as this could turn an energetic woman's drink into a fruity man's drink.

Try not to be self-conscious just tell me you "usual" drink. Come back in a day or so and I'll have your profile posted as a comment.

Homeless

As of Friday March 3rd I am homeless. My lease is up and I can not get an extension. I'm starting to sincerely panic. I'll take off today to move my stuff into a storage space but I doubt they will let me sleep there. Panic.

I've procastinated some and I also thought I'd have a few more weeks at my current place. I'll be able to crash with Stacey this weekend but that will not work over the course of the couple of weeks it will take to find a new place. Panic.

I am really excited to get out of that place, which I really don't like, and to save a little cash for a downpayment would be nice. Panic.

Can I live like a hermit crab at all my friends places in the area. A weekend here, a week there, a fortnight elsewhere.

Benjamin Franklin said, "Houseguests, like fish, spoil after three days."

To be honest this is a product of taking my new job on shorter notice than I'd like and taking the first apartment that was liveable without looking more. I should have been pickier a year a ago and this wouldn't be happening.

Ok the blog has dulled my panic. And as this is a desperate plea for aide, please post encourageing things. And if I've ever been your roommate please tell a story about how great I am to live with (in other words lie).

The Lesser Olympics

Everyone knows the summer games are the Greater Olympics. Why? Because they contain a
higher percentage of real sports.

JenR and I got into a heated argument because she couldn't admit Figure Skating is not a sport. She tried to form a logical argument but sadly fell short. She lost her logical edge when she admitted under cross that Ice Dancing shouldn't be an Olympic sport. Aha! I expect most little girls think that they'd just love to be a figure skater. But sadly they can't, if you are not a genetic freak.

The IOC has a wacky system about what makes a sport a sport. For them the main thing is there is a nongovernmental worldwide agency or group responsible for it. (Thus no American Football.)

Here is my qualifications for a sport:
1) More than just difficult - I have no doubt that figure skating is difficult. I have no doubt less than 1% of the population can do that junk. But there needs to be more than that. There are other difficult activities that are not sports such as tightrope walking. Tightrope walking could be as Olympic as figure skating. Both are similar. Both pointless. Both made more difficult due to poor selection of footing (ice or rope). If you put tightrope walkers to music, and pretended to have a non-biased scoring system then it would be just as sporty as figure skating.

2) The Survival Rule -Survival of the fittest. I also think things are more likely to be a sport if they serve to reflect Evolutionary Fitness. I know some of you don't want to hear about evolution, just bear with me. If competing in this sport makes you a more fit human animal and increases your survival chances in a primitive world. (By primitive concede the ancient Greeks who founded the games.)

3) Truly Quantitative scoring - True scoring of this type is like the 100m Dash! Fastest time is the winner, no fuss no muss. Some sports have a qualititative element such as Figure skating and sadly snowboard halfpipe (which I do enjoy). Qualitative means some biased human has control of the event. I think some of this will always be necessary but the proportion must be correct. Currently figure skating is 55% qualitative and 45% quantitative (and 55 is bigger than 45 for those of you who don't do math). This means the judges opinions are more important than the actual routines mechanics. This ratio should be 10% qualititative at most!

4) More than just skill - I love chess but it is not a sport. A sport requires a physical element that chess and pinball just don't provide. This is a sacred cow for me because it includes some great games that should not be Olympic games like Darts and tiddlie-winks.

5) Exciting - Ok, this is arbirtrary but it helps me exclude the luge from the list of sports.

There is no perfect set of rules to determine what a sport is, but like the supreme court said about how you draw the line between art and pornography, "I know it when I see it."

Here are the two lists of sports. Bear in mind each sport contains numerous events.

Ok Here is a list of the AWESOME Summer Sports from the IOC website. (Feel free to click the links.)
Aquatics Archery Athletics Badminton
Baseball Basketball Boxing Canoe / kayak
Cycling Equestrian Fencing Football Gymnastics
Handball Hockey Judo Modern Pentathlon
Rowing Sailing Shooting Softball
Table Tennis Taekwondo Tennis Triathlon
Volleyball Weightlifting Wrestling
Did you question any of those? Nope. But get a look at the sad sacks they thrust on us for the winter games.

The Much Shorter List of Winter Sports. I'll give comments and a yes/no vote on if they should be an Olympic sport. (Also with links provided.)
Biathlon- Often overlooked. This is cross country skiing and then target shooting. This is very difficult and I would consider it a sport.
Bobsleigh - Rock on this is a sport. The pushing and working as a team fit the bill nicely. This sport is a sport but I don't like watching it. It's just the exact same 12 camera cuts, then a time is shown. But it is clearly a sport because the fastest time winner.
Curling - Ok this game is more than just skill like darts. It is more like bowling and thus it contains skill and a physical element, therefore it is a sport.
Ice Hockey - No contest, the best winter sport.
Luge - I think this sport should not be a sport. Anything that a person could do just as well with no training is not a sport. Basically those guys just lay there. But more importantly this sport is extremely boring. It would be better if there were forks in the luge path. And they had to do a math problem really fast and choose their answer. So it's like 100 yards from the fork a sign says "24/4 -3 +4 = X" Then the left for said "5" and the right said "7". If you choose wrong you end up being propelled into a brick wall. I'd watch that.
Skating - Ok be careful this one has a few sub-categories. I think speed skating is a sport. But ice dancing and figure skating of all varieties should be banned! Banned not just from the Olympics but from the face of the globe. Let them play in deep space where they be with own kind, freaks.
Skiing - This is pretty clearly all sport. On the edge of this category is moguls and halfpipe. They can stay on if the become more quantitative. The rest of the event is all about time, fastest time, first place, simple.

Yikes that was a long rant! Tomorrow I will vent on V-Day then I'll do some more Olympics stuff later in the week.

Mandatory Sound Off

Ok Blog Readers,

I keep being surprised by people who read my blog. The trouble is I want to retell stories I've already told online. So if you don't want to hear re-runs then you will sound off.

I like it when people leave me a note otherwise I feel like I'm being stalked when a relative stranger says something like, "I'm sorry about your dog" or "When do you have time to read all those books?" or "Your spelling is atrocius."

I ate lunch with Josh and Suzie and they mentioned Suzie's rents were reading my blog and enjoyed it. Yet, they've never said anything.

Here's the problem: I'm not your trained blogger monkey. I'm not just here to amuse you! This blog thing is supposed to be reciprical. I write, you respond, I respond back. If I wanted to write something and get no responses I just wouldn't publicize the blog address.

OK, so on to the Manditory sound off. Once a month (at least sign in under any name besides anonymous and say hey. Last post Josh just wrote, "I read your blog." That is enough. It reminds me who my readers are. Knowing Josh reads this thing I might be prone to share a Josh related story such as "I'll just have a sugar packet or two" or "Spoo."

Ok, if you fail to comply with my simple demand for acknowledge ment I'll move my blog and not tell you were to get your weekly fix from your trained blogger monkey.

As a post script, People I currently know read my blog:

Ryan and Maggie
Katie and maybe Stephen
Dr. Worm (and wife?)
Jennifer R
Jennifer G and NAIRB
Danny Sims
My Mother and Father
Jonathan and Holly
Josh and Suzie (and apparently her parents)
Mr and Mrs. "Hey Man" (this is a good use of a screen name, you don't have to go by your IRL handle)
Lindsey
Emily
Rachel the Intern (maybe, maybe not)
Kelly the Intern
Janice
Jeff and Joey (and potentially their wives but I doubt it).

People who don't read my blog:
My brother
Mike Cope
My Sister
My preacher

(If your name isn't on that list either post on my blog or send me an email at TLaminack@Saturnroad.org)

If I find you've been reading without ever posting I'm going to get a restraining order... or I'll sick the dogs on you. Or I'll sick the bees on you. Or the dogs, with bees in their mouth so that when they bark the shoot bees at you!

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