Evolution of a Fan (Now with Pics)

After a conversation with Lucion's wife I discovered we were both "Fans" of Harry Potter. Fans is in quotes because we had different meanings for this concepts. I've sense thought about it a lot. Here is what I believe to be the evolution of fandom. Evolution is probably incorrect its probably more of a scale, but many people progress on linearly so it might function like evolution. I'll provide two examples at each stage. One for Harry Potter and One for Comics and one for Lord of the Rings.

Stage 1 - Ignorance is bliss - This person is unaware of the media. This type of fan isn't really possible for Harry Potter or Spider-man unless you've been living in a cave.
HP - Quidi-what-ich?
Comics - Spider-who?
LotR - Hobbits? You mean midgets, right?

Stage 2 - Not a Fan - You are aware of the media but not a fan of it.
HP - Oh, Harry Potter, yeah, that kids thing.
Comics - Oh, yeah like Archie and Jughead.
LotR - Hmm... another movie about sword fighting.

Stage 3 - The Dabbler - A lot of noob fans start out but just putting their toes in the water.
HP - I've seen the first Harry Potter Movie.
Comics - I've seen the first Superman Movie.
LotR - I watched the animated Hobbit in High School English.

Stage 4 - The Sophomore - Once you get over the dabbler stage you think you're the bomb. But you truly are the "Wise Fool" They tend to say things true fans have heard a million times already.
HP - Well, you know JK really wanted a female protagonist!
Comics - If Superman really caught Lois when she fell off that helicopter, the force of him accelerating to catch her would be more forceful than letting her hit the pavement.
LotR - You know the One Ring is really the Atom Bomb don't you!

Stage 5 - The Devoted Fan - This fan could also be called the Cult Fan, or the Devotee. This stage everything about the thing you like is PERFECT! Criticism of your favorite thing is a sin.
HP - How dare you say JK was "stalling" during book seven just to artificially stretch it out to the Hogwarts Year 7 paradigm. She is a genius! She might be the next Buddha! She's not wrong! You are wrong!
Comics - The JSA is the definitive book about heroics in a dark time. It taught me how to be a better dad!
LOTR - The LOTR is the I Ching, the sum of all wisdom.

Stage 6 - The Fanboy - (Or Fangirl I guess.) - This is the fan who's awareness and love of a product has enlarged to include its flaws. This fan is defensive of others who dabble or criticize but might be the toughest critic of his chosen passion. This type of fan believes "If you love something set it free... then shoot at it with a shotgun!"
HP - YES! She stretched out the book. Yes! It was annoying that the best stuff in book 7 happened "off camera" at Hogwarts while the gang was mucking around in the wood. But it was a serious stroke of genius to be able to write a series to a growing, maturing audience.


Comics - Worst Issue Ever! (The Comic Book Guy is the quintessential Fanboy.)

LotR - My PRECIOUS!

Highly Caffinated Personality Genius am I

Step aside phrenology, Stamford-Benet, tea leaves and Myers-Brigs for a new day has dawned in the field of personality assessment. I have honed my ability to profile people based solely one one defining trait. Equal parts psychology and psychic reading I introduce:

Trey's Starbucks Profiling

I can tell everything I need to about a person based on their Starbucks order. Just let me look at what's written on the heat sleeve and I've got you pegged. Thus the reason most of my 1st dates are at Starbucks. (Also meeting at Starbucks gives you a chance to emergency eject after only 30 minutes.)

What's your drink?
Like "Chai?" You're old.
Like White Chocolate? You're a racist.

I don't want to give away too much to make you self-conscious because I want to put my skills to the test! Read on, McDuff!

A certain young lady told me here favorite Starbucks drink was a Mocha Frap with a shot of Afogatto. This exotic drink order told me she's a people pleaser, with a high self concept who liked to spoil herself sometimes. I'd be willing to bet she bumps above the "basic" manicure and spend those 5 extra bucks to pamper herself. The only thing she didn't tell me in here drink order was size (tall, grande, vente.)

THE CHALLANGE

Post an Anonymous comment with your Starbucks drink order including size and I'll provide a profile. I do ask you let me know if you are Male or Female as this could turn an energetic woman's drink into a fruity man's drink.

Try not to be self-conscious just tell me you "usual" drink. Come back in a day or so and I'll have your profile posted as a comment.

NWA: National Whuppin Association

About a year ago Gary Bing and I created a new National Organization. We swore each other in to make it official. From now on, one of us must swear in new members. We are the NWA. We're getting badges and sweatshirts printed up. What is the NWA?

National Whuppin Association!

We have mandate from Government and Heaven to spank other people's children in public. Why? Because people don't seem to have the gumption to do it themselves.

The purpose is two fold:
1) Provide discipline to children.
2) Provide shame to parents. Although we won't spank an adult over 25 we do hope the shame of us getting involved will spur them to take task 1 into their own hands. Also we'll be fining them the cost of a new leather belt every time we spank someone.

I think moms will like this. Now if their kids are actions up they can say, "Be quiet you never know when an undercover NWA member might be eating in this restaurant." And their kids will have to be quiet because we mean business and we don't count or nothing. "Please sit down. 1.... 2... 2 and a half..." Nope if we say sit, we mean now!

Here is a Hypothetical Scene:

Special Enforcer Laminack is quietly eating his Moons over my Hammy at Denny's. When in the booth behind him the kids seem to be playing what can only be described as a game of "Let's see who can scream the loudest while kicking the booth jamboree." Special Enforcer Laminack provides the law mandated warnings. One, the heavy sigh and the shake of the head while facing forward. No effect. Two, the look over the shoulder, with raised eye brow. No effect. They've been warned.

S.E. Laminack stands up and shows his badge. "Sorry ma'am. S.E. Laminack of the NWA. I'll be starting with the oldest one." The sound of leather clearing belt loops causes the kids to quickly sit and put on church faces, but its too late. The mom only smiles and says, "I warned them."

The mayhem begins.

I'm now accepting applications to swear in others into the NWA. Even if you aren't sworn in you can still give the two standard warning to try and quiet the kids.

Retrospecticus

I think that was the title of either my Harding or SCS yearbook. Retrospecticus. What kind of name is that. Yes, it's better than the "Prickly Pear" but what isn't.

Sometimes I wish they made years books for years after college, but then I think they don't because most people don't like a well documented photo of their bad hair styles. My memory isn't so good. I don't know where any of my old yearbooks are but if I could find one maybe I could remember more teachers than: Coach & Mrs Cox (1st Grade), Mrs Brice (3rd), Coach Collins (HS) & Mrs. Campbell (HS). Am I forgetting someone? Hmm... Thrasher, I remember her, and that teacher who looked just like her husband (tall, slender, short dark hair), what's her name. Well I guess that's all I can think of. OH! Mr. Edsel taught physics. I remember him because of him being named after a famously lousy car and his stories of terrorizing hippies when he was in the navy.

Clearly remembering half a dozen teachers over 12 grades is pretty bad. But I consider myself self-taught. Which was probably the key to my success as SCS. Back in the day it was an academic joke, I learned a lot but most of it I just took on myself. I understand now they have ratcheted up the curriculum, but who's to say. Very few of my HS and undergrad teachers challenged me, the rest either just entertained me, detained me or constrained me. Is there a "tained" word for challenged? Hmm... If I can think of one this could be a good sermon.

Detainer - A teacher who just fills an hour of time in my life no interest in teaching me or holding my attention, although this does allow for good day dreaming time for the detainee.
Constrainer - A teacher who tried to bully or intimidate me. As if "sitting quietly" were the highest moral good.
Entertainer - A teacher who made for lively class but didn't really get much teaching in.
Lecturer - A teacher with good content but poor delivery skills.
Challenger - A teacher who explodes! (What? Too soon?)

Seriously, there are few teachers who cause ideas to explode in you head wanting you to learn more on your own.

Well this ramble has got to end, I intended to blog about the lady next to me on the plane who told me about her night of drinking and insanity in Orlando then choked on her gum when she eventually asked me, "So, what do you do?"