VBS on the horizon

Our VBS is one week later this year, so everything we do is one week later. But you would think I postponed it a month the heat I'm getting. "When are we going to start VBS?" "Is it too late to start planning for VBS?" "Is VBS happening this summer?" Yes, VBS will proceed as planned. It has gotten less hype because the 50th Anniv stole our thunder.

Funny thing is last year all I heard was "We never started this early before." "Do we really need more than 3 weeks to prepare?" "Why are we starting so soon?"

Conclusions:
1) Anything I do is wrong - This has been proven in other areas of my life.
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2) People like VBS practice and didn't think they would last year.

Let's hope the Killer Bees kill the Bird Flu.

Killer Bees & Bird Flu
Do you remember the Killer Bee panic a few years back? If you've forgotten just watch the news and replace the words Bird Flu (now being called Avian Flu, and once Avian Influenza) with Killer Bees! These two psuedoscientific media scare tactics seems to have a lot in common.

Both have had "experts" tell us "It's not a matter of if its only a matter of when!" Wooooo scary.
Both were supposed to happen sometime in the near but ambiguous future. There is nothing to do about either other than panic and die. The response of politicians to both is very similar, research the problem (until media attention dies down.)

And it turns out the Bees didn't come, and if they did you'd just have to poison them or not go near the big gnarly bee hives. For the most part, the "Killer" Bees that "rampaged" through South America only succeeding in killing a lot of European Bees (their smaller cousin that we all are familiar with.)

Similarly the Bird Flu is just the big cousin of the regular flu. (Why? Because we have no natural antibodies... yet.) All the scientific evidence (in Discover magazine) seems to lead me to the conclusion that there is a 1 in a billion chance the bird flu will make the gigantic evolutionary leap from birds to infecting humans (or any mammal). And if it does it will just be a bigger flu. It will only kill the already sick, the weak, the infirm, the old and the extremely young. (Bear in mind the regular flu already does this already it is just not newsworthy.) This is like West Nile Virus! It is more deadly but only to people on the edge of life and death already. It is just a new strain of a Virus we already are exposed too.

I'd also throw in the Y2K panic to the list of media disasters that never actually happened. So is Bird Flu going to kill us all. Well I crashed with y2k, I got bite by a West Nile Mosquito, I've been stung by a killer bee. I will survive this newest global terror. It must be a slow news month or something.

Burger War

I usually don't do this but I think it is REALLY important, now more than ever.

This was an idea was originally made up by a Dr. Pepper executive after spilling cleaning products and inhaling the fumes. Therefore you should all do as I say because a rich person had the idea and you have to listen to the rich!

So for the rest of your natural life (and any unnatural life that follows) we all need to refrain from buying hamburgers from the worlds two largest companies: McDonalds and "The Golden Arches" which are actually one company according to my mom.

If we don't buy burgers from them then they will be FORCED (yes FORCED) to lower their prices. And their competitors will be FORCED to lower their prices. Yes FORCED! They don't get to choose we can FORCE things, FORCE! I have control over how everyone reacts to things like this and they will be FORCED!

The current price of a Big Mac is $2.90! That's right $2.90! I remember saying "I'll never pay say more than $1 for a Big Mac!" But here we are paying more than 5 times what we used to pay and just taking it! We are not sheep! McDonalds and George W can not control me!

If we all buy elsewhere then we can see the price of Burgers drop not just at McD's but across THE WHOLE WORLD! Image eating a Wendy's originl triple with cheese for just $1.25! Or what if the Jumbo Jack was only $0.43? We can do it.

BUT WE ALL HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THIS TO WORK! IF YOU FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO 100 PEOPLE AND THEY SEND IT 100 YOU WILL QUICKLY ACCUMULATE THOUSANDS IF NOT MILLIONS OF >>>>>>>GULLIBLE PEOPLE!<<<<<<<< ALL CAPS MAKES ME FEEL IMPORTANT! FORCED, FORCED I SAY!

Don't listne to nay sayers who mention the cost of beef rising, natural inflation or how stupid this idea is. Those people are just puppets of the all powerful Ronald McDonald and his associate Donald Rumsfeld.

This can really work. You should really inconvenience your friends by sending this out. They won't think you are stupid. They will think you are a mensa member or some kind of wise jedi knight!

This can work, honest, why doesn't anyone believe me! I FORCE you to believe me! FORCE!

LTC Wrapup

It's was awesome.

It is over.

Halelujah!

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Here is a brief wrap up of metals:

Gold GOLD, gold gold gold

GOLD GOLD GOLD

gOld goLd golD

Gold!

DLOG!

(Bronze... silver)

GOLD!

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Danny gave some new definitions for LTC:

Easter Lost in The Confussion

Long Term Commitment

Back at Altamesa I always called it Leadership Training for Craig becuase he had to organize everything and it was stressful.

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In short I am proud of our kids as much for how they performed for how they behaved. We didn't run wild and free in the hallways. I had to tell a group of kids not from our church to stop playing football in the hallway at 11:15pm! Where were their parents. I wanted to ask, "Where is your mother? Doesn't she love you?" But our kids behaved well and performed extremely well!

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It was good to see Altamesa kids and other church friends from Camp! I'm excited about this summer again!

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Why does Blogspot not always recognize line breaks, if I don't put something on a line it deletes it and crowds my page.

Mumbles

Today I am working on tonight's lesson and crafts, drama practice tonight, LTC this weekend, VBS this summer and the 50th anniversary next week; meanwhile I'm dealing with guest bedrooms, defensive driving online, lack of sleep, closing a house next week and the fact that I've been in this building for 25 consecutive days without a break. Also I skipped my orthodontist appointment a week ago and haven't called to resedual. Its only 12:30 and my eyes aren't focusing well.

I'm taking tomorrow off. I will sleep and my mom want's to shop for my new home.

My current dream jobs are:
Mattress Tester
Witness Relocation Tester
Videogame Tester
Insomnia Medicine Tester

Right now I feel like a:
Punching Bag Tester (as the bag not the tester)

Madison's First Decade

Madison was born in Abilene Ten Years Ago, it snowed 10 inches! 10 inches of snow in Abilene in April! It was amazing my brother and I made snowmen in the hospital parking lot and the hotel yard. The whole town ground to a halt! They had never seen so much snow in, let alone in April. Every birthday Madi's grandparent reminisce about the miracle of Madison's birth (complete with a meteorological miracle.)

Here is a clip of Madison being Madison. It take a little while to load but it is worth the wait.

Happy Birthday Madison!

A True Story from the Year 2020: Safety First

Little Suzie is playing on the jungle gym at church. She falls and skins her knees. Luckily her parents were both less than 18 inches away from her at the time. The dad springs into action and gets gauze from his fanny pack as the wife dials 911. Luckily they had rehearsed for just such an emergency at home.

The other children are quickly escorted away so as they might not have to see blood, if there were any blood. Some of them begin to cry because of the panic of this major injury, crisis counselors are called to the scene for the survivors.

Two ambulances and a medical helicopter land. One has flown in a pediatric orthopedic specialist from across state lines. They erect a plastic germ free bubble around the child. Who is now in a full state of panic, crying, blowing snot bubbles and wondering what "amputation" means.

The parents are sedated and detained for questioning and remanded into the custody of CPS workers. How come they were 18 inches away at the playground? Why not just leave them alone in a room with matches, dynamite, anthrax, poison dart frogs, Bengal tigers on crystal meth, rusty razor blades superglued to a treadmill, and loaded guns with the safely removed? Huh, Why not that?

The lawyers for the child, the parents and the church arrive. They quickly decide it's best if everyone get sued and they get paid in cash. The lawyers for the doctors and lawyers for the lawyers arrive by limo next.

Congress convenes to pass legislation against all children playing more than 14 inches from their parents. Writers tagged onto the bill include mandatory bubble wrapping of all infants, Purell showers at every Kindergarten classroom and the compulsory Low-Jacking of all teenage girls.

Meanwhile across the street a child skins his knees whips it of and walks indoor to ask for a bandaid, but there are none. His dad brushes it off with his shirt sleeve and say, "It'll be fine." The kid shrugs and goes back outside to play.

Questioning Your Faith

Danny's Blog got me started on this topic. As usual he has good stuff to say.

Is it OK to question your faith? Can you have doubts and still be a Christian?

If Mike Root hadn't said to me when I was 16 "Questioning your faith is a part of becomeing a stronger Christian" I wouldn't be a Christian let alone a minister right now. I was afraid to ask questions because I believed my religion was flawed and wouldn't stand up to questioning. It might crumble like a house of cards. When I set about to knock it down I found a foundation of stone not a house built on sand. It wasn't until later Mike told me about this book.

"Will our children have faith?" by John Westerfoff III (another Trey) laid out the 4 stages of faith development:

1) EXPERIENCED FAITH (preschool & early childhood) – imitating actions, e.g., a child praying the Lord's prayer without understanding the meaning of all the words – "This is what we do. This is how we act."

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2) AFFILIATIVE FAITH (childhood & early adolescent years) – belonging to a group, which still centers around imitating what the group does – "This is what we believe and do. This is our group/church."
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3) SEARCHING FAITH (late adolescence) –asking the question, "Is this what I believe?" Thomas is our example of this. He will not blindly accept what others have said, but needs to find certainty for himself. This stage of faith is adding the "head" to the "heart" of the earlier stages.

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This questioning stage can lead in the two directions. Will the questioner become an unbeliever or move onto the next stage of faith? This is the level when most cult groups recruit their members and when many "drop-out" of church. Others will "regress" and live as adults with an immature faith.

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4)OWNED FAITH (early adulthood) – this stage comes only through the searching stage. After exploring, "Is this what I believe?" one can, hopefully, discover an answer: "This is what I believe!" Owned faith is the strong, personal faith that one lives by, witnesses to and may even be willing to die for.

If you don't question you are still practicing a faith based on imitation of others. Maybe some of you are lucky enough to believe without doubts but for the rest of us it's ok to question.

I think the real trap of the devil here is in the church putting a stigma on questioning our faith. If we feel ashamed we may never do it and live our lives with immature faith. If we do it in secret we may make bad choices or be just ignorant of some facts. Wouldn't it be better to be able to question your faith and talk to a more mature Christian who understood the process?

Well, I'm here for my kids if they have questions. I don't make them feel sinful to have doubts. I guess I'm here for you bloggers as well, if you've never questioned take a moment and ask yourself, "Why do I believe what I believe?" God has provided you a brain that will work, proviced evidence to convict and other Christians to motivate.

New Time Laws in Effect

Here ye! Here ye! The King of the Forest called Earth has some proclamations. Citizens of Lamination listen well! The King has changed the laws of physics to better suit his napping habits and use time more effectively.

1) We'd never spring forward! I hate losing an hour. From now on we'd just fall back twice a year. Sure the daylight would get all messed up be once every 12 years it would be right again. Think of the sleep!

2) In fact I want to add a month to the year! Right at the end of summer and before school starts. Trevembarch! It will last two weeks! These two weeks will be free from all scheduled activities. No camps, no vbs, no church planning (just show up and sing), no work. Anyone caught breaking these laws shall be fed to my pet Jackal Jeff. (From where will these weeks come? All months shall now all have 29 days except Feb which is still the freak month.)

3) In accordance with new laws there will be a soccer amnesty day once every four years on leap day. I will spend the day in a miniature submarine. There, now don't say I'm not a benevolent king.

4) Once a year the people shall vote on a celebrity to sling shot into Mount Rushmore! This years winner: Paris Hilton. (This law shall save a lot of time otherwise wasted wondering why she is a celebrity.)

5) mandatory Siesta time. 1pm-2:30pm. No exceptions. It's quiet time get on you bunk or you'll have to miss swim time.

6) When you turn 35 the government will give you 100k and tell you to take the year off. (Where will the money for this come from? Selling the kidneys and other bodyparts from people who break the laws!) I think the one year off will save years in real time because it will head of the midlife crisis before any real damage can be done. Anyone leaving their wife during this year will owe the government 200k and be forced to remain with his wife and marry his wife's single cousin! Take that! (The punishment for divorce should be more marriage.)