I'm tired of hearing about the medicinal properties of chocolate!

Every week some soft news outlet has breaking news that, gasp, chocolate can cure cancer! We all have a PhD in candy science now, having been forced to hear about it so often. You probably already know which kind of chocolate is better for you without me having to tell you... dark chocolate, wonder pill!

The things chocolate can do you for you these days: Treat depression, good for the skin and probably really does cure cancer!

Here is a copy paste from thinkquest.org:
Chocolate acts as an antiseptic, diuretic, parasiticide, and pilatory. It is used to treat burns, cough, listlessness, pregnancy, and snake bite. Cocoa has theobromine which has a similar effect to that of caffeine. It stimulates the muscles, heart, and kidneys. In fact, it can relieve congestion during colds by simply opening the bronchial passages in the lungs.

WebMD wrote this article. - Basically: Chocolate = Magic.

I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT!

I think all this does is convince me more and more that we have NO idea what is going on inside the human body! For example, are eggs good for your or not? Nobody knows! Every 5 years they switch their stance on eggs. All they want to do is sell magazines and keep you watching the Today show until the next commercial break to sell more Tide! These should not be our sources of medical knowledge.

So what if Chocolate has antioxidants! In 2 years they'll come out and say we need more oxidants! But go ahead eat more chocolate. After all for years Placebo pills have cured all manner of ills. Maybe it isn't the placebo effect that cures people its just the sugar!

That's it! SUGAR! I can't wait for Martha Stuart and Jimmy Kimel to be telling us how sugar is really healthier than once thought. That phrase 'than once thought' can cover a number of wrongs. It basically means forget what we said, the opposite is now true, don't question us we're on TV. That is straight out of 1984, people!

Of course too much sugar and chocolate can lead to another of my soft news pet peeves: shots of fat people walking on the street from the neck down.

You people and your coats!

Baton down the hatches and start hoarding heating oil! It's October in Texas and it might get down to 63 degrees!

You people and your coats. Shouldn't you just be enjoying the cool? (I don't think cool ends and cold begin until you get to 40.) But no, the mercury drops a millimeter and we have to show off our new coats. Its like some people live in envy of cold climates who have to wear coats to the first day of school. Bah! They probably all live in envy of us getting to wear shorts and not having people drop dead of frostbite each weekend during a football game.

So fine, its 63 better start layering clothing. And if you think the adults are bad you should see the way they bundle and swaddle their preschoolers. I've seen geriatric Eskimos wearing less clothing.

And even if it does get down to 58 its not like you're going ice fishing! You are walking from your heated car into your heated Starbucks back to you heated car with a heated drink in hand then onward to your heated house so you can turn on your gas logs!

If it gets bellow 60 I'll switch to long pants, maybe! But expect me in t-shirts until it gets down to sub 50! You people and your coats! Your weak, over-fashioned people who can't accept the modern lifestyle you live that requires no time outdoors. If I didn't love you so much I'd tie you up and send you by train to Fargo so you can finally have a reason to wear your faux-fur lined, down jacket with matching scarf and mittens and bright yellow rubber snow boots! But that would be cruel, nobody deserves to be Fargoed.

The House-Spirit Connection

When I was in Psych classes at Harding and ACU on of my favorite subjects was the "Mind-Body Connection." It is amazing what the mind can do. It can make you sick, it can heal you. There are even documented cases of women who want to be preggers so bad they fool their bodies, their stomachs grow, they lactate and they can even fool a chemical pee test. Amazing.

Now that I'm a home owner and live the bachelor life I've discovered the "House-Spirit Connection." When my house is dingy and cluttered I feel it dragging me down from afar and I live in fear of the dreaded "pop in." When it is clean I wake up peppy, I'm ready for people to drop in, I invite people over. Probably the best thing I've done for my social life is cleaning up my stupid house.

Concerning "pop-ins" I still fear them somewhat, I like my alone time. So here is my commitment to you. If my front porch light is on, you may pop in. If it is not, just keep walkin'. I may need another signal if you want to drop buy during the day Saturday or something.

Now my house isn't clean like Martha Stuart OCD clean, its just bachelor clean. But I think people expect a few dishes in my sink and books in little piles all over the house from me. If they can't accept it, they don't need to invade my fortress of solitude anyway!

I'm not taking very good care of my lawn, but I can sense something. I can see on the horizon another connection, "The Lawn-Machismo Connection."

Evolution of a Fan (Now with Pics)

After a conversation with Lucion's wife I discovered we were both "Fans" of Harry Potter. Fans is in quotes because we had different meanings for this concepts. I've sense thought about it a lot. Here is what I believe to be the evolution of fandom. Evolution is probably incorrect its probably more of a scale, but many people progress on linearly so it might function like evolution. I'll provide two examples at each stage. One for Harry Potter and One for Comics and one for Lord of the Rings.

Stage 1 - Ignorance is bliss - This person is unaware of the media. This type of fan isn't really possible for Harry Potter or Spider-man unless you've been living in a cave.
HP - Quidi-what-ich?
Comics - Spider-who?
LotR - Hobbits? You mean midgets, right?

Stage 2 - Not a Fan - You are aware of the media but not a fan of it.
HP - Oh, Harry Potter, yeah, that kids thing.
Comics - Oh, yeah like Archie and Jughead.
LotR - Hmm... another movie about sword fighting.

Stage 3 - The Dabbler - A lot of noob fans start out but just putting their toes in the water.
HP - I've seen the first Harry Potter Movie.
Comics - I've seen the first Superman Movie.
LotR - I watched the animated Hobbit in High School English.

Stage 4 - The Sophomore - Once you get over the dabbler stage you think you're the bomb. But you truly are the "Wise Fool" They tend to say things true fans have heard a million times already.
HP - Well, you know JK really wanted a female protagonist!
Comics - If Superman really caught Lois when she fell off that helicopter, the force of him accelerating to catch her would be more forceful than letting her hit the pavement.
LotR - You know the One Ring is really the Atom Bomb don't you!

Stage 5 - The Devoted Fan - This fan could also be called the Cult Fan, or the Devotee. This stage everything about the thing you like is PERFECT! Criticism of your favorite thing is a sin.
HP - How dare you say JK was "stalling" during book seven just to artificially stretch it out to the Hogwarts Year 7 paradigm. She is a genius! She might be the next Buddha! She's not wrong! You are wrong!
Comics - The JSA is the definitive book about heroics in a dark time. It taught me how to be a better dad!
LOTR - The LOTR is the I Ching, the sum of all wisdom.

Stage 6 - The Fanboy - (Or Fangirl I guess.) - This is the fan who's awareness and love of a product has enlarged to include its flaws. This fan is defensive of others who dabble or criticize but might be the toughest critic of his chosen passion. This type of fan believes "If you love something set it free... then shoot at it with a shotgun!"
HP - YES! She stretched out the book. Yes! It was annoying that the best stuff in book 7 happened "off camera" at Hogwarts while the gang was mucking around in the wood. But it was a serious stroke of genius to be able to write a series to a growing, maturing audience.


Comics - Worst Issue Ever! (The Comic Book Guy is the quintessential Fanboy.)

LotR - My PRECIOUS!