I'm tired of hearing about the medicinal properties of chocolate!
Every week some soft news outlet has breaking news that, gasp, chocolate can cure cancer! We all have a PhD in candy science now, having been forced to hear about it so often. You probably already know which kind of chocolate is better for you without me having to tell you... dark chocolate, wonder pill!
The things chocolate can do you for you these days: Treat depression, good for the skin and probably really does cure cancer!
Here is a copy paste from thinkquest.org:
Chocolate acts as an antiseptic, diuretic, parasiticide, and pilatory. It is used to treat burns, cough, listlessness, pregnancy, and snake bite. Cocoa has theobromine which has a similar effect to that of caffeine. It stimulates the muscles, heart, and kidneys. In fact, it can relieve congestion during colds by simply opening the bronchial passages in the lungs.
WebMD wrote this article. - Basically: Chocolate = Magic.
I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT!
I think all this does is convince me more and more that we have NO idea what is going on inside the human body! For example, are eggs good for your or not? Nobody knows! Every 5 years they switch their stance on eggs. All they want to do is sell magazines and keep you watching the Today show until the next commercial break to sell more Tide! These should not be our sources of medical knowledge.
So what if Chocolate has antioxidants! In 2 years they'll come out and say we need more oxidants! But go ahead eat more chocolate. After all for years Placebo pills have cured all manner of ills. Maybe it isn't the placebo effect that cures people its just the sugar!
That's it! SUGAR! I can't wait for Martha Stuart and Jimmy Kimel to be telling us how sugar is really healthier than once thought. That phrase 'than once thought' can cover a number of wrongs. It basically means forget what we said, the opposite is now true, don't question us we're on TV. That is straight out of 1984, people!
Of course too much sugar and chocolate can lead to another of my soft news pet peeves: shots of fat people walking on the street from the neck down.
posted by Trey Laminack @ 9:48 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
so you're saying no to my breakfast of Skittles and chocolate syrup? It sounds like you will be handing out a "Health Advisory" Phamphlet to your trick or treaters.
You're starting to sound a lot like Andy Rooney.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Actually, since they started saying that chocolate is good for you, I have found that I have been eating a lot less of it. What fun is it if it is good for you? That is like putting oatmeal in cookies!!!
Reactions:
Sub - When you pass them out at church they are called Tracts not Pamphlets.
Ryan - Your mom!
O.M. - I feel ya! I never craved spinach more than when they said it might kill you.
OK that cracks me up
but you should clarify it's not milk chocolate it's DARK CHOCOLATE that's good for you and the darker the better, so load up on that semisweet nastiness :)
that's what I said, dark chocolate, first paragraph!
But I'm glad to see another Choco-PhD out there!
your mom
:p
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