2nd Podcast Available

Check out the Child Min blog and podcast at:

www.srcc-blog.blogspot.com

Want more than reading my words? Now you can hear my beautiful melodic voice.

Blogger's Block

Like writers block, I have blogger's block.... Steve Martin in one of his books said to get over writers block just start writing, either just moving your pen or just hitting keys and see what comes to mind.

whior faW fakl; wf fsW wrhkoafj topfaisdfksaj;e WERImfa w (I notice now I seem to be typeing more with my left hand, note all the w's). ;kldsjfa w';kdfa;3jklfh e;fls3nfsaco4ieacni wafjesf i;oa hn (In an attempt to use both hands equally I've had to stop using spaces and the shift key.) fdsajfkl;... WAIT I've got it.

Soccer Mom traffic is the worst for these reasons:
1) They are nuts.
2) These nuts all drive HUGE cars.
3) These nutjobs with HUGE cars see the parking lot as some kind of competition.
4) These competetive, nutjob, landboat-drivers think about soccer so much they see running over someone as only a "yellow card offense"

There writters block over, sure it's not much but its a start.

Flotsam and Jetsam

Chunk 1 -
I was buying 3 sausage rolls w cheese this morning at the donut hut and a lady walks in and puts a dollar on the counter and asks for a cream filled eclair. My pigs in a blanket are in the microwave for 30 seconds and this lady decides she'll just jump in during the interminable long wait. At first I was annoyed but it became clear this lady was a regular and didn't even wait for her change on the 79 cent confection. In fact she was in and out before the 30 seconds were up so I guess she was right. The regulars should get preferential treatment.

Chunk 2 -
So at the gas station I was reading the safety stuff. No smoking (check), turn off engine (check), do not put in unapproved container (check), not for use in aircraft (che... wha?). Who is pulling their Cessna into the QT. "Lemme get 200 gallons a fuel and 64oz Diet Dr. Pepper."

Chunk 3 -
I've decided to throw a stone from my glass house and say "Women should have long hair." The oft quoted Helena Rubinstein said, "There are no ugly women, just lazy ones." I can't agree more and the excuse, "It's so easy to have short hair" is lame. I've got hair longer than 62.5% or more of my congregation (All 50% of the men plus 25% of the women) and you don't hear me complaining. Still my glass house offers a good view on the idiocy knotted into hair perception so... Do what you want with your hair, you're free to make your own choices.

church 4 -
I think more people should read Superhero Comic Books. They are the only American Mythology and Morality tales being published.

RIP: "I can't see you? Where'd you go?" Eulogy for a dead joke.

From time to time I see the need to put certain jokes to sleep. (And I mean put to sleep like a dog, blamo!) These jokes have become so trite and meaningless that they have long sense stopped being funny and are now more in cataegory of "Unoriginal Mandaitory Humorous-like Comment."

Today's funeral is for the comment: "Where'd you go? I can't see you?" and other variations on this theme. If you haven't guess the scenerio in which this appears to be a mandatory comment let me enlighten you:

Someone is wearing a Camoflague shirt... you see them... and your lips move independent of your brain, "Hey, YOU'RE INVISIBLE TOM! HYUK HYUK!" This has long since gone past being funny, why? Everyone in the western hemisphere has said this joke ten times, and each time there is a brief moment where you believe you are the first person to have this idea.

You have to lay aside that wearing camo-clothing is tacky and pointless in and of itself. That is not the issue. The issue is this joke must be allowed to die.

Other variation, upon seeing someone in camo:
"Hey, look you're invisible"
"Where's Tom? Anyone seen Tom? Glad he's not here he smells."
"Hey look! It's Tom's floating head! Where's you body Tom?"
"It ain't workin' I can see you TOM!"

But like the Bible story where a man cleans out his house only to have 7 other demons return when they find it empty, you must replace the negative with a positive. If you leave that void empty the bad jokes will only come back.

So here are a few alternative jokes to say when you see Tom and camo shirt:
"Don't they make 'Office Camo'? With little files and computer bits on them."
"I can't see the Tom for the Trees."
"Hey everyone look at Tom his pants don't match his shirt!"
"Tom, nice shirt." - This is only funny, if the nonverbals are correct
Or pick up a cup of water and try to water Tom.
Grab an AX and chop off Tom's legs... yell, "Timber!"

Podcasts

Ok, I mentioned earlier I was addicted to them. Now I'm going to become part of the problem!

Hopefully, I will be able to debut my SRCC podcast within a couple of weeks. It's format will be a weekly family Bible study, with a few laughs thrown in for good measure. One of my elders put this bug in my ear about a lesson for people who can't make it here on Wednesday nights from far away lands. It got me thinking, but this will be for all of our church families with elementary students.

I already have most of the equipment I need, and Jaton has mentioned some good family curriculum we already own. I'm amazed how prepared we already are for this endevor. Basically to do a podcast you need: Mic, Audio rec/edit software, Webhosting, a way offer subscriptions (there are a number of free online examples including iTunes), some content, and a voice.

Just as a reminder you don't need an iPod to listen to a podcast (which is free). You can download iTunes (for free) or just download the audio file straight from our server. You can listen to it on your PC or burn it onto a CD and take it on the go!