10 Last Minute April Fools Gags

So if you're like me your six feet tall and named Trey. If you also like me you like a good April Fools gag. And if you're like me in a third way you forgot to plan anything epic.

If so... You're in luck! Here is a list of 10 Last Minute April Fools Gags:

1. Limp into a room with a pained expression, when somebody asked what happened say, "April Fools" then do a little jig.

2. Leave a post-it on someone's desk saying "Don't forget our 3pm appointment! :)" Don't sign it. (They'll be like "what did I forget?" all day until 3!)

4. Cut off your finger in the paper cutter for real and people will think its a gag finger but then you get blood on them.

5. Ask if you can bring anyone lunch back and then get the order all wrong or better yet, don't bring them anything... OR! bring them something their allergic to like peanut butter hidden in the hamburger. Classic April Foolery!

6. Send an email to a coworker asking to check if your email account is working.

7. Gather a whole bunch of pennies. In a crowded area accidentally drop them and say, "Everybody freeze! One of these pennies is magic!"

8. Write a letter to your boss quiting! Don't tell them its an April Fools joke for at least 2 weeks... if they don't throw you a going away party with cake just forget the joke and move on. If there is cake wait to cut the cake before announcing "April Fools" and dancing a jig.

9. GREAT 1-on-1 prank (wait to be alone in a room with somebody) "Fake a heart attack" Steps: 1) Rub left arm for a minute and act like its no big deal 2) Seem to loose focus and stumble and say "whoopsie daisy" 3) then shake head to clear vision and say, "Can you bring me a glass of water?" slowly sit down 4) When they get back be lying on your stomach lifeless. 5) For greatest effect wait until the Ambulance shows up before yelling "April Fools!" 6) Unless you know an EMT who can play along then wait until you are in the morgue.

10. Tell people you're going my your middle name now.

What's your fav? Got any others? Leave a comment below... and facebook people need to learn to leave a comment on the blog not on my facebook status which vexes me because they don't get saved.

47955

New Church Words

Word of Warning:

Not for those who have yet to grow a sense of humor.

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Post-Sermon Rustle (PSR) - It seems in preaching school they make you develop a signature closing phrase, much like news anchors. This phrase usually ends with "... as together we stand and sing." The opening syllables of this phrase sets off the Post-Sermon Rustle. People start folding Bibles and getting out song books, others gather their kids toys. Sometimes accompanied by the PSM, the Post-Sermon Murmur as people discuss going to lunch.

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This morning in the shower I came up with this term, "Theology of Least Resistance" to describe some church behavior. "Making a decision based on which perceived outcome will garner the fewest complaints." I'm not immune to the concept in Children's Ministry.

Example: Trey decided to changed the LTC scripts and group assignments not because of artistic or Biblical reasons but to receive fewer terse emails from parents.

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I'm also prone to "the-way-we-have-always-done-it-ism" but this is harder to pronounce, maybe it should be TWWHADI... "Twwhadi" pronounced "Twha-dee.

Example: Trey pulled a Twwhadi when he organized an Easter Egg hunt even though it has been poorly attended the past few years because they've always had an Easter egg hunt.

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And now some brief ones:

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Addicts - This is what I call people who congregate around the coffee pot.

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Deacon - Elder in Training, kind of like the Cub Scouts.

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Eschatology - The study of whether or not to install an escalator in the church.

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Sacred - The pew you've sat in for 30 years that some visitor is rudely occupying.

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Next Year - Never. (Example: I'll volunteer next year.)

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Raise hands - 1) To lift up hands. 2) In a hymn: To place hands on lap.

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Dance - 1) To move joyously. 2) In a hymn: To sit.

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Birdseye - A chance for the song leader to show you who's boss.

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Laud - What you say when its really hot in the church. "Laud, its hot in here."

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Ebenezer - 1) Grouchy miser 2) Stone of Help

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Stone of Help - Nobody knows what this means.

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Fetter - A heavy feather, or fatter feather.

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Diadem - Part of instructions on how to make a tie-dye shirt. "Step 1, Rubber Bands. Step 2, Diadem."

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Emergent Church - A church that is... emerging from something... like a hermit crab...

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Postmodern - 1) Younger than 40: A new way of viewing the world and truth. 2) Older than 40: Wrong.

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Unpack - A verb used by preachers when they want to make you feel stupid. "We should all be beautiful, benevolent believers... let me unpack that for you. To be beautiful is to be..."

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Canon - What they shoot you out of if you try and preach from the end of Mark 8.

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Hermeneutic - The study of the book of Herman.

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Sinner - Someone who does the "big sins"

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Heresy - Doing, saying or thinking something that isn't Twwhadi.

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Change - 1) What kids give to contribution. 2) There is no other acceptable definition other than 1.

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Hallelujah - What you say when church is over.

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Ok, end of list. Again, I want to remind you this list is meant to be humorous... perhaps I should follow the "Theology of Least Resistance" and delete this post...

47406

300th POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

300th Blog Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the 300th Post on Trey's Bloglicious Blog!!!

I started this blog because Ryan made me. Now he has quit the good fight. He's quit blogging and yet I continue... Why? Because I can't stop. Let me be honest. I do this to entertain myself. Your entertainment is just collateral damage!!

If I had $300 I'd buy:
300 Double Cheeseburgers!!!!!!!!!!
150 Eggs of Silly Putty and put it all together and drop it off the roof!!!!!!!!!!
100 Rolls of Duct Tape!!!!!!!!!!
75 Comic Books!!!!!!!!!!
60 Geckos to set free in John Scott's office!!!!!!!!!!
50 Vente Caramel Macchiatos!!!!!!!!!!
30 Movie Tickets! I'll see Made of Honor 30 times in a row!!!!!!!!!!
15 Outback Steaks!!!!!!!!!!
10 Overly interesting T-Shirts!!!!!!!!!!
5 Video Games!!!!!!!!!!
4 Tattoos of reptiles!!!!!!!!!!
3 Tanks of Gas!!!!!!!!!!
2 Full Service Mani/Pedi in Mesa, Arizona!!!!!!!!!!
1 Decent Guitar!!!!!!!!!!

(Wait, I'm getting that much from Uncle Sam!!!!!!!!!! )


The Number 300:
Perfect Game in Bowling
Number of Spartans who died to create a great Graphic Novel and Movie.
Yards on a football field
Known as the Harshad Number
The Number of Exclamation Points in this Blog Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dance Dance Resurrection