Thursday, October 02, 2008

Return to Normalcy

What is normal? I've totally forgotten. I've gotten so tilted I think my world view is seriously skewed. It only looks normal to be because I've grown accustomed to the angle.

I was watching a commercial and they were talking about, "Don't worry if you have bad credit! You're approved! Don't worry if you have no legal identity. You're approved. Don't worry if you are upside down on your last loan. You're approved!" I thought it was a spoof of a bad credit company. Some kind of humorous public service announcement warning you not to get into debt with no way out. But it was a real commercial. They really will approve you no matter what.

Bad credit? Approved!
No credit? Approved!
Not alive? Approved!
Zombie? Approved!
From a parallel dimension? Approved!

Of course I'm not living debt free. I've got college loans, credit cards and a mortgage.

And I don't care what you say, a mortgage is debt! There was once a time when people didn't get home loans. They did something we have forgotten about.

"Save."

They should put a piggy bank in a museum next to the dodo and T-Rex. Extinct creatures.

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Thoughts on Change

Tolstoy said "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in this world."
Heraclitus said "Nothing endures but change."

I particularly like the ancient Greek's thought on this. Particularly when you think about how much more durable change is than folding money. Paper money doesn't hold up well in the wash, even though its not actually paper but cloth.

Thoughts on Change:

The Quarter is the king of change. Universally useful and about the only change people are ever really happy to receive. Used to be, one would get you a phone call and two would get you a coke but these things are... changing. With the advent of the 50 states quarters all I can say is "Long live the KING!"

The Penny is probably the most noble and under appreciated of all coinage. I've known people who throw them away. I have to admit I've done it before, I swept the house, got dust bunnies from under the couch along with a few crunch berries and a penny or two. Looking down into the horrible mess in the dust pan I consider fishing out the 2 cents, but... alas... I sent Honest Abe to the trash can. Still there is something noble and cool about pennies. After all everyone likes a shiny one, and we all are on the lookout for a lucky one.

The Nickle is the most masculine of all loose change. Robust and stout. It also doesn't mess around with that girly decorative ridges around the edge. It is smooth like that. Also Buffalo Nickles are really cool and macho as well.

The Dime is the feminine yin to the nickles masculine yang. I'm tempted to call the dime "fruity." The dime has an identity crisis, worth more than a nickle its smaller, slimmer more easily lost in the couch. For Pete's sake its smaller than the penny. Also it doesn't have it's own color scheme like the Penny doesn't, weak. The Dime probably gets picked on by other coins in your pocket.

The Susan B Anthony Dollars is a joke. Its way to close in size to the quarter. Strangely when you mistake it for a quarter you should be pleased to discover its worth 4 times as much, but usually I'm annoyed that this feminist little coin is such an odd duck it isn't even round. I say lets melt down these coins and end women's sufferage (but that's a rant for another time).

The Sacagawea dollar is doomed to not take off for another ten years, America isn't ready for large increment coinage like Europe, we also still don't like soccer. But this large gold coin is a great improvement over the Suzy. The only hurdle left is to get people to stop pronouncing it "Sock-uh-JEW-ee-uh" and start saying it correctly "Sah-COG-uh-way-uh." Every time I hear that over stresses "JEW" in her name 1/32nd of my heritage feels oppressed. Why don't you just wrap my gold dollar coin in a small pox blanket.

The Fifty Cent Piece... do they still make these?

And I'll end with another misleading quote about that other kind of change by Robert frost:
"Most of the change we think we see in life
Is due to truths being in and out of favor."

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