Rant: Please Pull Around

Ok, so I eat fast food too often. And let me say the expression "Please Pull Around" has begun to to weight heavily on my mind. I think the whole drive through thing is at sixes and sevens with itself.

Why so many Windows?
Ok so back in the day you had one window. And they took your money and gave you your food. This was understandable. Then some egghead developed the two window system. Take you money at the first window and screw up your order at the second. A "convenience" that every other chain has adopted. BUT I HATE IT when they have multiple windows but they are only using 1! I mean why build the others if you can't staff them. Worst is if you wait at the first window until the other guys has to wave you down from food window, because your an idiot and didn't listen when he said, "Please pull around to the 2nd window." Which 2nd window, mine or yours?

And some places have even more windows now! Two windows taking orders and one giving out the wrong stuff. If they have two I always have a micro-panic attack. What should I do? I just throw it in reverse and go the KFC.

Proof I Can't Every Be Happy:
Ordering from a Person vs. Talking into the Clown's Mouth

There is a new trend to order with a human being. McD's is doing it now. You have to tell a person face to face what you want. Why I hate this?

1) I'm often ashamed of my order. I'll have a supersized number 3, and let me get a Frosty... "What drink Sir?" Uhm.... mumble... "What was that Sir?" ... Diet Coke OK! I want 2 lbs of grease and cheese and a DIET coke!

2) I like to look at the pictures while I order. Even though Wendy's menu hasn't changed in a decade I like to think that I might mix things up and order something different. But I don't, Mustard and Pickles only.

But the speaker in the clowns mouth is bad too:

1) It's embarrassing to be yelling at an inanimate sign! And I mean yell because they don't hear you. "I'd LIKE A 5 PIECE NUGGET! NO SAUCE!" I sometimes carry a cheerleader megaphone to yell at the box. "GIMME an N! U! G! G! E! T!"

2) When they talk back it likes it's be translated into Japanese by Chewbacca! Where all drive through speakers made in the 40's. Is there vacuum tube technology still at work?

SO, I can't be happy, I hate both systems... but I love fast food.

They always screw up your order.
You finally navigated the quagmire that is the drive through and your so happy to go you get the bag and slam on the gas! Why not? You are free! Then a block away you get to thinking. That bag seemed a little light. So you do that little one hand on the wheel, one hand frantically feels around in the bag doing a tactile inventory. Ok, I've got two burger shaped things. Some fries, a scalding hot apple pie... wait? Where are my union rings?! But now you 2 blocks away, do you go back? What would you say, no... you just take it! Not me! I got back. I go back to the food giving window and I go there first. I back into the out way. I'll ram a car out of the way. "Pardon me, you forgot my rings. Also could you pay for that guys bumper, I just rammed him because of what YOU did."

Places that have no drive through:
Isn't this killing your business. A fast food place with no drive through is like a person with no answering machine... get with the times. The biggest offender in this area is Subway. Are they too good for drive through? I mean they are named after a mode of transportation themselves. "I can tell you what I want without pressing my face against the glass... hmm... banana peppers, Parmesan cheese and uh... what the heck, throw some leeks on my meetball sub."

Quick Final Thoughts:
* Why do they hide the the straw in the BAG! I always panic for a nanosecond until I find it.
* Do they really put something in KFC chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly? I'll have to check my food diary.
* Why only two ketchups?