If I could fix some sports.

I think sports need a little help.

NASCAR - A figure 8 track. For Pete's sake let the cars turn left once in a while. Where they overlap? Put a jump!

Soccer - Change field to look like bigger hockey rink with walls, and area behind the goal to use. Also, must have 3 balls in play at all times. Middle of the field is 10 feet higher than the other ends. Oh, and you can also use your hands because we've got them we might as well use them. No grabbing or catching but punching, hitting, slapping and elbowing the ball is now allowed.

Cricket - losing team has to eat a cricket.

Football - Hang a metal loop inside the field goal which is worth 4 points. Only about 3 feet in diameter. Wait, nix that. Instead of that, remove the field goal and all kickers from the game. Instead of a kick off there is a throw off like in old yard ball. Now we don't have so many creepy soccer players trying call themselves football players. Now, after a TD it's a 2 point conversion or nothing.

Roller derbie - No changes necessary

Figure skating - Instead of completely open format the ice ring is divided into a zig zag series of lanes that two figure skating teams race in. This adds an element of racing and timing. You final time is affected though by the tricks you do in the "trick zones." These are areas painted green wherein you may do a trick of your choosing, all tricks are 100% quantitatively scored. More difficult tricks result in a bigger time deductions. (For example a double sowcow is 2.3 seconds off your time, but a triple is 3.7 and so forth). There are also spin trick zones and a "limbo" trick zone. Remember limbo on ice as a kid. They decide which bar to go under and get a deduction for the smaller heighth. Then they cross the finish. Lowers time (a composite of actual time minus deductions for good tricks) results in a win. Remember this is a head to head event now.

Curling - The other team is allowed to pelt the broom guys with snowballs.

Basketball - move that goal up at least a foot, better yet, the goal is on smooth moving motors that make the heighth vary from 9'6'' to 11'6'' during the course of one shot clock. You've got to time that sucker out! Wait for the easy dunk, or try for the long and high three pointer. Also, two balls going at once.

Baseball - Zzzzz... what! Oh, sorry just the word baseball sometimes puts me to sleep, it's dangerous while driving. Two batters, the pitcher can decide which zone to throw to. Only 2 outfielders instead of three. Also cork all the bats and lose the pitching mound (dropping top speed of the pitchers). And now it's one strike your out. Hopefully the legal system can adjust. And no more wasteing time. If a batter in not in the batter box throw the ball and strike him out!

Bowling - Move those pins closer, who are we kidding, this game is frustrating. Or instead of gutters the edges of the lanes curl up like a halfpipe. now it will eventually make it's way down. And no second ball. It's a strike or it is what it is. And why do those balls have to be so heavy?

Dart - No change necessary.

Boxing - Remove weight classes. It's silly to call both a 95 pound Filipino kid and a 285 bruiser "world champion". Only one of them can really be the world champ and we know who it is!

Hockey - Bigger goals, three pucks. (I think extra pucks/balls will increase the watchability of any sport.) And now the penalty box is now a torture chamber. It has an electrified seat at random, foam bats hit you and loud Bjork music playing.

Volleyball - All beach, all the time.

Tennis - Change the scoring back to normal. The novelty of saying Love-Love has worn off. Also remove all the judges and line spotting cameras. They should be required to argue if it is in or out just like the rest of us.

Bocce - No change necessary. This is the king of games!