Twelve Blogs of Christmas, Part XI: Must Have Toys

11 MUST HAVE TOYS SINCE 1900!
Toys you have to have!
Just goes to show you... Christmas is about presents!

11) Crayola Crayons (1903) - The average American Child wears down 730 crayons by age 10! 2.5 Billion crayons are sold each year. I don't think I wore down that many I tended to break them in half. Just goes to show you... that sharpener on the back of the box is only there to make your crayon's lifespan shorter.

10) Lincoln Logs (1916) - Lincoln Logs were invented by John Lloyd Wright, the son of architect Frank Lloyd Wright. Wright was inspired by the way that his father designed the earthquake-proof Imperial Hotel in Tokyo. Jeff Brooks has a set of these in my office that I always think about stealing. Just goes to show you... nobody makes a toy version of the Ford Theatre for a reason.

9) Madame Alexander Collectible Dolls (1929) - One for the ladies. Madame Alexander was the first to create a doll based on a licensed character (Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind), thus paving the way for the glut of movie dolls, figurines and action figures. I never got it, why hve a toy that is too valuable to play with? Just goes to show you... well... nothing... this toy is stupid.

8) Monopoly (1935) - FUN FACTS. Just goes to show you... you can play a game that goes around in a circle a thousand times!

7) Scrabble (1948), Clue (1949) - A two for one for this decade! Two more fun board games. No American linen closet is complete with out at least one of these games. "It was Professor Plum in the Library with a triple word score!" Just goes to show you... keen detective skills can outshine poor spelling.

6) Mr. Potato Head (1952) - The original Mr. Potato Head contained only parts--eyes, ears, noses and mouths--parents had to supply children with real potatoes to play with! Eight years later, manufacturer Hasbro decided to include a hard plastic potato "body" with the toy to replace the real spud. I have a Darth Tater Mr Potato Head that comes with a mask, cape and light saber. Just goes to show you... children used to be really sad, I mean a real potato excited them. I wonder how many of those potatoes were later repossesed by mothers and fed to children?

5) Etch-a-Sketch (1960) - How does the Etch-a-Sketch work? A stylus is mounted on a pair of orthogonal rails, which move when you turn the knobs. A mixture of extremely fine aluminum powder and beads (which help the powder flow evenly) lines the Etch-a-Sketch's interior. When you turn the device upside down and shake, this mixture sticks to the inside face of the glass. And when you then turn one of the knobs, the stylus scratches off the aluminum dust to create a line on the screen. There is a lot art out there too. To make it permanent you drill a hole in the back and let the dust come loose (and disconnect the nobs). Just goes to show you... fine motor skills developed for picking nuts and berries can still be put to a good use.

4) Rubik's Cube (1978) - Invented by former-commie Erno Rubik, the cube has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 different possible configurations and only one solution. Thought unsolvable but clearly not. I can solve on in under 3 minutes! (Although it took me 6 months the first time.) I can't sleep in my apartment if I know there is an unsolved Rubik's cube inside. I can teach you how to solve it if you are pretty smart, have a high frustration tolerance, and have 6 months to learn. Just goes to show you... Communists quit being communists when they make millions of dollars.

3) Cabbage Patch Kids (1983) - In 1985, the peak of the Cabbage Patch Kids craze, doll sales totaled $600 million (that's more than $1.1 billion in 2005 dollars. In 1985, my grandmother stood in line for hours to get one of these for Stacey. We all thought it was the dumbest thing ever. Until all the cool kids had one. The next Christmas we all got one. Just goes to show you... people like things with tattoos on their backside.

2) Tickle-Me Elmo (1996) - Trying to buy this toy could result in stampede deaths in 1996! The craze didn't take off until talk show host and comedienne Rosie O'Donnell pulled an old Groucho Marx gag on her unsuspecting guests. Every time a guest said the word "wall," Rosie threw one of the 200 Elmo dolls that manufacturer Tyco toys sent to her studio into the audience. Afterwards, toy stores turned soccer moms in to Mad Max Hooligans. Just goes to show you... you can't trust lesbians.

1) XBOX 360! (2005) - Everybody wants one but there are no more left. Plus many who special ordered one didn't get it! Others are told they won't arrive until February! They are selling on ebay for more than $1400! There was even two confirmed muggings at the opening of the sale and one drive by shooting at a line at Circuit City. Just goes to show you... video games make people violent!

Need more toy trivia check out this.

What toy did you want when you were a kid?