Lessons from Shakespeare: Small Beer

Othello, Act II, Scene I

(Desdemona asked what Iago looks for in a "deserving woman." )

Iago:
She that was ever fair and never proud,
Had tongue at will and yet was never loud,
Never lack'd gold and yet went never gay,
Fled from her wish and yet said 'Now I may,'
She that being anger'd, her revenge being nigh,
Bade her wrong stay and her displeasure fly,
She that in wisdom never was so frail
To change the cod's head for the salmon's tail;
She that could think and ne'er disclose her mind,
See suitors following and not look behind,
She was a wight, if ever such wight were,--

Let's pause here for a moment. Iago has painted a lovely picture. If you not into Shakespeare I'll translate line by line but it looses its poetry:

A woman who was beautiful but no full of herself
Good with words, but not loud.
Has never been left wanting for money but is not frivolous
Able to control her impulse but indulge when the time it right
Makes right wrongs against her soon (I think William hated grudge holding women)
Another line about giving up grudges
Has lots of wisdom
Can trade bad for good
Was thoughtful but need not tell everyone what she is thinking.
Would be aware of those who like her but not overly occupied with the thought
The last line: She was a wight, if such a wight were...
This means, "She is a ghost/phantom" meaning, such a woman doesn't exist. "But if she did exist"...

Some of you are thinking, "This Iago thing should replace 1 Corinthians 13 at weddings!" Well, true enough, Iago has painted a lovely picture, but if you know the play you know you're not allowed to like Iago. The scene continues...

Desdemona responds to "But if she did exist..." by saying: "To do what?"

Iago: To suckle fools and chronicle small beer.

(Ouch. Small beer is an expression that is not used much anymore, but I bet your grandfather would know it. It means something of small importance.)

Translation: To raise babies and keep the books on small beans.

So Iago goes and ruins it, just like an intellectual male. Perhaps this is painful because it is often true. Good women end up in less than grand situations. I think because they don't know what they want. Women say they want a man who is funny and whom her parents like, but I can testify to the falseness of this claim. I've had to break up with as many girlfriend's moms as girlfriends, they don't want to let go of me.

So the greatest of women sometimes go to what Iago and Desdemona consider an unworthy fate. Dessie says of this small beer remark, "O most lame and impotent of conclusion!"

But I think the real fault here is not in the fate of great women raising children and managing a home. The fault is in Iago and Desdemona thinking this is some kind of small beer. This is a colossal undertaking and surely worthy of some credit. I'm not saying I don't want a wife with a job. In fact, if my wife made more money than me, I'd take time off to raise the suckling fools.

I know what your thinking, "Trey sure is sensitive, I like'd to date a sensitive man." But it's not true, you really want a man who is emotionally distant and who angers your mother.

Well, I'd like someone who meets Iago's criteria of deserving, even down to the "suckling fools and chronicling small beer." (And small beer is not an understatement on a ministers salary.) But I'm only giving this nice-guy-funny-baby-loving-mom-loved persona one or two more tries. Then I'm becoming an emotionally-distant-rude-controlling-jerk that women appear to actually be attracted to.