I was attacked by a raccoon

There I was minding my own business in the Tom Thumb side parking lot and a raccoon is poking its head out from under my car. I say, "Scoot!" so I won't back over it. But it doesn't scoot. Instead it charges at me and climb up my body in a spiral motion until it is scratching at my face. I throw it off and it takes my glasses with it.

I am looking around for my glasses, thinking the confrontation is over, and it jumps me again and bits my hand. I throw it and its teeth cut a long gash down my palm.

This time I keep my eye on it. It sizes me up too. Then charges me. When it goes for my legs I step down hard on its tail trapping it, sort of. It is trapped next to my leg which it begins to scratch and bit. I use my other leg to violently kick the beast.

It gets away and hides under my car. I run get inside and close the door. Now I don't care if I run it over. I turn on the engine and back up. I don't feel anything crunch nor do I it in the parking space so I figure its clinging to the bottom of my car.

I gun it to 40 miles an hour and hit a speed bump hard to rub it off. This time I see it bounce out from under my car and roll to a stop. I go back and pick up the remains so it can be tested for diseases. Meanwhile, two kids have been watching the show. One of them is crying at the slaughter, the other is laughing.