Online Purchases

Ok so I bought these:

That's right! They're nunchucks baby!

So all you suckers better watch out. I can testify to the fact that they really hurt too. From my limited experience thus far I can say I will be focusing on the shins of my attackers. That really stings. I spent 10 minutes hissing through my teeth like Peter Griffin.

Ok, so it turns out that watching 100's of ninha movies does NOT mean you know what you are doing with these things. I think they must speed up the tape on those things. I was wise enough not to try the nunchucks between the legs at anything but a snails pace.

Also even when I do it right these things still hurt your hands. They are wood and very hard. So even when I catch the other end it's like catching a baseball bat. I don't know what those ninjas were thinking.

Here is an SAT analagy question for you:

Tornados are to Trailer Parks, as Nunchucks are to ___________

The correct answer is lamps. I put a broken lamp on my doorstep as a deterant to burglars. I also posted a note beside my archery note on my door.

Burglars beware even more: Please enter slowly through front door only. You have two options: 1) Hold a lamp close to your face to attract my flurry of nunchuck blows. OR 2) I'll hand you the nunchucks and let you hurt yourself. Clearly my ninja mastery is too much for you. Leave you wallet and a note of apology. Thanks, MGMT