Hardcore
Ok so if you missed yesterdays replies to my costume post you missed something... go back and read those... I'll wait...
Ok welcome back... wait a minute! Some of you didn't go back! Oh, you read them already? Did you add one of you own? Ok, fine, I'll continue under protest.
Why does everyone and everything have to be "Hardcore" now? I'm not sure exactly where this phrase originated but I have a feeling it rose to popularity with adult videos.
I for one am not hardcore. I give up easily, I take all kind of flack, I roll over in the face of opposition, I change myself to appease the man, I don't argue over everything (anymore), I sell out whenever possible. I'm in that "Soft core" range somewhere. And the truth none of you are hardcore either. None of you. I can't honestly say that any of my friends are "hardcore." And don't start trying to lobby for you being hardcore, if you have to try and talk someone into it it's like trying to convince someone your cool. Forget it. You are not hardcore.
Some are wanna-be-hardcore, but more have a nougat-core than a titanium core. The only person I know who comes close to hard core is my brother because he doesn't have anything around him he doesn't want or need. No loans, no niceties, but his Hippy Status negates any other. But he's not hardcore, and I doubt that he wants to be.
For fun I've compiled a "Get-Real-you-aren't-hardcore" checklist. If you check more than half of these you are not hardcore.
- You put your finger in your mouth when it gets cut, or you go and wash it off.
- You haven't cut your finger in more than a month (you're life is too safe)
- You roll your eyes when I mention I want a motorcycle
- You have a child in your house
- You safety protect your house and you don't have a child
- You wear your seatbelt
- You are not paid by the hour
- There is nothing under your fingernails
- You can dance
- You own a DDR pad.
- You know what DDR is.
- You don’t refer to your spouse as “my old lady” or “Hey you”
- You are a part of a club that is not orginized around some extreme sport
- You have no tattoos
- You have a tattoo on your ankle or hip of a butterfly
- You can't grow a beard if male (or a mustache if female)
- You attend Scarborough Fair
- You play soccer
- You can name 2 Duran Duran Songs. (Or 3 Herman’s Hermit’s songs)
- You own any Vinyl records and were born after 1975.
- You own an iPod
The truth is, if you even checked ONE you aren't hardcore. Just accept it and enjoy your life and don’t be a poser-core those people are the worst. The only people who are Hardcore live dangerous, dirty, short lives. Do you want to be there? No, so go enjoy your iPod and don’t forget to pick up the kids from Soccer practice.
posted by Trey Laminack @ 7:46 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
You outted me Trey. I'm not hardcore
But I think I have a term for what I am though: MarriedCore.
This term comes from the thngs I dutifully do for my "old lady". I scoop the kitty poo. I kill the bugs. I head out at night if my "old lady" has the jones for a Limeade. I secure the house perimiter if there is a noise. I select and maintanin the baseball bat and flashlight by the side of the bed. I am in continual baseball bat and flashlight intruder countermeasure training.
I think you understand where this is headed.
Marriedcore is sort of like a "I'm-not-eating-glass-while-jumping-off-a-building-here-but-I-am-tough/reliable-enough-to-put-up-with-crap-that-I-don't-want-to-do-cause-I'm-cool-like-that" core.
So to recap, I don't think I'm hardcore, but I'm not softcore. I'm kinda firmcore, or substantialcore. Maybe chubbycore is most accurate.
There are too many double negatives in the list so I'm not sure. I believe I am squishy-core. By the tone of this post I'm attaching an application to anger management for your offcenter/frenetic/funny-core self.
I'd buy dr_worm_md's MarriedCore. There is a lot to be said there.
I don't buy the 'not' hardcore if "You have a child in your house". Do you know the kind of disgusting stuff you have to do for kids? It is definitely hardcore.
Example: Emma recently swallowed a quarter. We have to make sure it passes. Do I need to describe how we will do that? That IS hardcore
That's not to say that only married folks can have hard-to-bend cores. Single, divorced, polygamists, every spectrum of the marital filing status can have semi-rigid cores.
What I was trying to say in my earlier post is that I believe that there are degrees of core. Not just hard or soft.
"No you're not hardcore/unless you live hardcore/and the legend of the rent/was way hardcore!"
-School of Rock
Now THAT's hardcore.
I prefer to be classified as "School-core" - right now I'm invincible, so its a false sense of hardcore that will evaporate right around interview season...
"We'll you think you can kick me out? But the ban is MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNE!
"How can you kick me out of what is MINE?!"
Worm - I will admit the possibility of MarriedCore. It's about being as hard as possible under determental circumstances.
brian - No, inspecting poo for a quarter does not make you hardcore. If you hadn't softened your core enough to get married you wouldn't be in that perdiciment in the first place. Again, I'm not saying its bad to not be hardcore, I think you'd be happier if you accepted the fact that you are not.
Worm again - You are wrong. There are two degrees of core... Hardcore and every-other-equivicated-core. I'll admit there is a lot of variety in that second set but your eithe hardcore or not. Gray areas are for the soft.
holly - lol
Em - school core? I'll accept that I suppose, interviewers want you to interview like a softcore wimp then start the job like a hardcore nutjob.
Dr. Worm - You left out the "d"
It seem I am not even QuarterCore. I wasn't home to deal with it. My not HardCore had me in a meeting late. So, my wife found... the nickel. (I think our money changer is broke)
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