If I was a doctor

I think I'd be more like Scrubs than Patch Adams.
But I would try to find inventive ways to to break bad news to people.

Doc - "I'm sorry but we're going to have to amputate your foot."
Sicky -
"What? I came in for an ear infection!"
Doc - "Oh sorry that's next door.
You're going to have to swallow this hoarse pill."
Sicky - "Wheew, that's
good news."

Or howsabout...

Dude - "Pardon me doc, I've got a pain in my side when I lift my arm like this."
Doc - "Hmm... how about when you get shot."
Dude - "I've never been...
(BANG!)
Doc - "Ok, how's you arm?"

What about when someone gives birth:

Doc - "Did you want a boy or a girl?"
Dad - "I really only want a boy, girls
stink!"
Doc - "Well... it's a boy, but it is also a goat."
Dad - "What?"
Doc - "A healthy boy goat, it happens sometimes!"
Dad - "Really?!"
Doc - "No not really, it's a girl, get over it."

Okay, another silly idea

Woman - "I've been haveing trouble sleeping."
Doc - "Have you tried exercise, warm-milk, OTC sleeping pills, reading?"
Woman - "Yes."
Doc - "Do you attend church regularly?"
Woman - "No."
Doc - "Well, there you go."

Or if you have to tell a relative someone has died.

Doc - "Pardon me, are you Joe Walton's family?"
Fam - "Yes, how is papa?"
Doc - "It turns out your father was really a leprechaun... bad news he's gone... good news pot of gold."
(The downside for the doctor is finding a bunch of gold really quick. Or tell them a Satyr from obsetrics stole it)

In conclusion my bedside manner consists of the bait and switch.