Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Packing instructions

I'll be going to two conferences this month. One in FW and the other in Orlando. Therefore here is my advice for packing:

1) Buy new socks. A six-pack of new socks is just what the doctor ordered. They are guarenteed clean and already packed in plastic.

2) Make sure you bring your A Game Underpants... or as I call them. Your "Show Underwear." I'm not saying you have to throw away your holy underwear (far from it, that stuff can breath). No I'm saying if you have a roommate at a conference or if you die in a horrific plane crash you'll want to be wear clean X-Men's Wolverine Underwear!

3) Plan for the unplannable. Bring a flame thrower, cloneing device and foreign currency if you have it.

4) Put big stuff in the suitcase first. Blue jeans always form a nice base.

5) Pack too much stuff. If you'll be gone 3 days bring enough for a week. If a week, pack for a fortnight.

6) Never let someone else pack your bag or leave it unattended, there will be a quiz later.

7) Leave stuff in the dry cleaning bags as long as possible. It's like breaking a $20. Once you break the seal its gone!

8) Instead of packing 13 different kinds of vitamins just collect all the ones you'll need in a large unmarked brown pill bottle or in a ziplock baggy all jumbled up. The airport security will enjoy the dazzling display of color and unlabeled pills.

9) Never pack toothpaste. Just hit up the Hotel for free stuff. I always get free toothpaste, brush, sewing kit, and showercap for every day of my stay. Also, use the entire bottle of conditioner, they'll bring more and it feels aweseome!

10) Music.

11) Carry-one essentials: Chapstick, 3 oz of some liquid, comb, portable video-game, magazine, Bible (in case of crash or emergency sermon), pens, pencils, sudoku/crosswords, tobasco sauce, a Koran (to scare your neighbor on the plane), and gum for ear popping.

12) Other Carry On Items in case the plane crashed and you have survive: Flint (you can't take a knife on board but bringing a rock onboard is ok, combine this with some wreckage to get a spark going.) For that matter can you bring a lighter and matches? Probably, so do it. String (1 million uses). Iodine pills to purify water. Protean bars. Signal mirror. Emergency blanket. A Book Titled: "How to Survive Anywhere with only a flint, a lighter, string, iodine, protean bars, a signal mirror, an emergency blanket and thie book."

11 Comments:

At 3:40 PM, Blogger Emily said...

All very good advice...word of caution on #9 - my hotel in Rome was out of toothpaste. It was scope and a toothbrush for me until I could find a store to buy some, which I'm still not completely convinced includes all the ingredients needed to be FDA approved in America....

 
At 10:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad that my life does not require regular airline travel. It is hard enough for me to remember everything I need to bring; having to remember how to pack is just overwhelming.

 
At 9:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I luv yew Trey! You will be a happy traveler. I have read your packing suggestions aloud at work and laughed out loud.
An anonymous 56 yr. old.

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Web Bulimic said...

As I will be one of your roomates...so glad you are bringing your "show underwear".

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger Emily said...

Anonymous 56 year old...do you happen to have any skittles for the happy traveler?

 
At 4:24 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Trey, I suspect you wrote this post just so you could fling the word "fortnight" around like a smart guy. (That's why I would have done it.)

Also, I'm sad to see that your list of resolutions doesn't include your burning need to come to the Northwest to visit Ty, Gina, Killer, and TANK. (I'm going to be a mom soon, so I'm practicing my nagging and guilt-tripping skillz.)

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger stuckinthe80s said...

I would be interested in hearing your theories on packing for the return home. Whaddaya do with all your dirty clothes? Are they allowed to touch those clothes that have gone unscathed???

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

will you also be bringing the the blue jammies with white trim???

 
At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trey, my dear.....it is disturbing to see how much your friends know about your underwear and jammies.

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Trey Laminack said...

To answer a few questions:

1) All rules are off when repacking to come home. Yes, old and new might be allowed to touch.

2) Yes, my friends do seem to know alot about my boxers and pj's. But guess everyone does now.

3) I've updated my new years resolutions to include a trip to the NW.

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

If you get to come out here in the next . . . 10 months, or was it 11 . . . If you get to come out here before Steve retires, you don't have to worry too much about the show underwear since you'll get an actual guest room.

See, Gina tries the guilt, I try the enticement.

 

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