The Hook Up

Apparently, everyone but me shares the same hobby. "Hook up Trey." The problem is nobody is any good at this game. Here are a few guidelines:

First, Anyone my mother or grandmother recommend will never be considered. (Stacey is trying to be added to this list I think.)

Here is an important consideration: People I already know. They need not be pushed at me. If I have contact with someone then there is very little in the way of our burgeoning romance.

People also often underestimate how shallow, inane and non-committal I can be. Everything can look good on paper but there is always a chance I will bolt.

Here is what makes me feel guilty even though I have no control over it. The rumor mill. You tell one person and they tell two and they tell three... then suddenly the person you want me to fall in love with thinks I'm smitten and becomes twitterpaited herself. Then I rebel against your arranged-marriage-unequal-yoking and the poor soul gets her heart stepped on. Even though I never knew it, the whole church thinks we're engaged, then they have to deal with our divorce (before we even dated.)

Kelly the Intern is reading this and says, whoever you hook me up with must be, "Stunningly beautiful and submissive."

Trey says, "Kelly is very wise."