Twelve Blogs of Christmas, Part V: Christmas Trees

FIVE GOLDEN TREES
(They are golden when covered with lights and tinsel.)

5) The Charlie Brown Tree - Ryan's blog featured this real life replica for sale for only $24.00! I like the idea of a group of kids making anything awesome just by clumping up and waving their arms about (this was the subject of an snl cartoon parody, which I can't link to because it contanis adult humor like the band Phish, lesbians and eww... Jenifer Lopez and Ben Aflec. Those old enought to watch SNL could find it online.)

4) The aluminium pole - The focal point of a Festivus celebreation. It has a very high strength-to-weight ratio. The tree is left unadorned because "I find tinsel" distracting.

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born . . . a Festivus for the rest of us!
Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: She was.

3) Scotch Pine - is the most planted commercial Christmas tree in North America, popular because it does not drop alot needles when dry and for it's smell. Some people don't like this tree because of its propensity for soccer hooliganism.

2) The Douglas Fir - Douglas Fir is not a true fir but actually has its own unique classification. Unlike true firs the cones on Douglas fir hang downward. The man who this tree is named after died when a logger cut him down at the ancles. He took it well, even yelling "TIMBER" as he went down.

1) Fake - That's right the most sold type of tree is the fake plastic tree. It's hypoalergenic, it's clean, and you can but that smell in candles or a spray can. You lose that true Christmas aroma but you gain convenience of use year after year. The plastic tree is currently putting real trees out of business and I say "good ridance" and "Long Live Radiohead."