Vicious Diatribe: B*tt-Prints in the Blue Bonnets

Everybody has seen it, and if you've ever been 4-years-old in Texas, you've done it. You've sat your rear end down in a hillside of blue bonnets and taken a cute little picture. And of course this makes me feel an emotion I call "melannoyance" (melancholy annoyance). Its cute and all, but does everybody have to squish our Texas state flower with their backside?

What pushes me from melannoyance into aggrinoyance is when I see someone carving a fresh trail in them with a tripod when someone else has already carved and flattened out a different spot with their hind quarters. But NO! You gotta have a fresh spot, our precious miss muffet must have a virgin tuffet of blue bonnets to violently squash with her diaper covered fanny.

But hey everyone's done it. And the pictures are cute... But if you show me your family photos and they include your kids buns in these valuable (and state protected) flowers there is a good chance I'll walk outside and sit my prodigious keyster in your tulips and see how you like it.

(End note, other words for fanny include: bum, buttocks, badonkadonk, booty, tail, tush and the lesser known tushie)