Homeless

As of Friday March 3rd I am homeless. My lease is up and I can not get an extension. I'm starting to sincerely panic. I'll take off today to move my stuff into a storage space but I doubt they will let me sleep there. Panic.

I've procastinated some and I also thought I'd have a few more weeks at my current place. I'll be able to crash with Stacey this weekend but that will not work over the course of the couple of weeks it will take to find a new place. Panic.

I am really excited to get out of that place, which I really don't like, and to save a little cash for a downpayment would be nice. Panic.

Can I live like a hermit crab at all my friends places in the area. A weekend here, a week there, a fortnight elsewhere.

Benjamin Franklin said, "Houseguests, like fish, spoil after three days."

To be honest this is a product of taking my new job on shorter notice than I'd like and taking the first apartment that was liveable without looking more. I should have been pickier a year a ago and this wouldn't be happening.

Ok the blog has dulled my panic. And as this is a desperate plea for aide, please post encourageing things. And if I've ever been your roommate please tell a story about how great I am to live with (in other words lie).

On the Idiot Box Tonight

Tonight marks the return of Deal or No Deal. There is no need for trivia knowledge and no stupid stunts. Just a lot of pressure and one million dollars.

The premise is simple. You choose a case then slowly reveal the contents of other cases. Every now and then, the banker makes you an offer. You either take his offer or reveal more cases. Eventually you must take his offer or what's in your case.

Here is what I clicked:
Deal or No Deal Game

I'm on the fence concerning if this is a good show or not. Are we Americans becoming too stupid to play jeopardy? But all in all it is a fun show. Although the whole thing could take 10 minutes to play it get drug waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out. It's best to watch on TiVo.

I've been running a statistical analysis on the bankers offers (based on the online game). I think there must be a random number generator involved in the final bid of + or - 5% or so. On the show I believe a human being makes the final call on the bid using a statistical analysis to give them a starting point.

Stephen said when I watched with him during its last run he can always predict what the bid is going to be. If you believe this you should write down your offer before the banker's is revealed and compare it to the bankers. Otherwise you are likely to remember only your successes and not your misses.

Statistically it is a MANOVA problem (multiple analysis of variables). The major factors are the "average" cash in each case, the number of cases left and America's poor math skills. Bear in mind that even if you loose the 1,000,000 dollar case the bid could go up because of the overall increase in the "average" cash per case ratio.

Odds and Ends

I haerd taht if the frist and lsat ltteres of a wrod are in the crorcet plcae you can sitll raed msot wrods ptrety esaliy. I wnoder if taht is ture?

My friend East-Texas-Casey called last Thursday to inform me she has found my blog. I thought everyone I know had already heard about it but I might have left some people off the list accidentaly.

Me and Liz went to movies in snooty Plano Saturday and had a fabu time. I find it funny that Plano movie theatres serve popcorn, candy, sodas and... what? uh? Wine! Rock on! I think this is the kind of movie theatre Jesus would have attended. He could have turned orange soda into wine just in time for the double feature. Then we went out and had the worlds rudest waiter. Liz paid for dinner so I'm not sure if she stiffed him on tip or not. I didn't ask, she was paying. (How thoroughly modern of her. Go Liz!)

I think the most important lesson of last night is never go to the movie before dinner, I was starving!

This has been a boring blog. It sounds like everyone elses blog now. "This is what I did yesterday." Now you know why I don't blog like this most of the time. Blog!

A Milestone: 144 Posts

I barely had a chance to notice. I think 144 or one gross (a dozen dozen) is good number to recognize. It seems to western to comemorate the 25th, 50th or 100th post. Why not honor 144 successful posts.

Some of you have missed many if not most of my posts. Of course they are there to prowse but lets look back.

Some of the Best of the First 144 of the Worst of the Blogs of the Blogs I read

Let take a look back to the very beginning shall we: My First Blog Wow, those were simpler times! When just the discussion of smurfs could fullfill your blogging needs. I wish we could all go back there and sit on the front porch and sip lemonade made from real lemons, but we can't so get off your pity-pony and live it today!

Next we have a notable post that would set the tone for latter goodness: You too can know it all: Men and Women. The real shame here is nobody read it, it only got three posts and one is from my sister who prolly didn't read it. I think the wisdom of this blog might be one day carved into the walls of a great monument.

Next we look at the "historic" Batman vs. Superman final post. To be honest there were like 4 posts and poll on this subject. I've skipped to the end so you can see my opinion ignore those rubes who votes for Superman.

Hmm... and to remind you that things need not make sense here in Imagininajion. Mmm... good times. I think everyone should take a 2 minute break each day to imagine how they would fight off a ninja or terrorist attack if suddenly cropped up in your office.

And finally I've written three posts about the deceased in the last 144. Here is the most upbeat of the three: Big Dad Stories. (The other deceased are Granny Ruth and Coach Collins.)

Honorable mention 1: All those posts where I bought junk online then bragged about it. Long live the Bow and Arrow, Nunchucks and books I still haven't finished.

As a endnote: Let me say I hate it when TV shows just wimp out and make a "clip show." It's a sign that things have peaked and creativitity is on the decline.

I think the next time I'll do a recap it will be for a prime number... lets say we meet back here for post #311! It's prime and it makes me want to sing "Change a lot of names..."

The Eye of the Storm

Ok so Monday I felt chipper enough to post, I thought I was better. Turns out it was the eye of the storm. I had as much coughing and sneezing ahead of me that was behind me. Has anyone else experiences an "Eye of the Storm" moment, where you think you are well but it is just an illusion, a mirage?

Well, I am feeling better for real now. (Although my abs hurt from coughing and sneezing so much.) At the office they discussed brining me soup or dropping off something to eat. I'm glad they didn't. When I'm sick I like to suffer in silence. Haveing someone nearby just seems to make me regret my symptoms twice. No it's better I'm left alone. As I can become verbally abusive when ill... or hungry... or sleepy... well, lets just say I can be verbally abusive at the drop of a hat.

But some people are the exact opposite and I'm sure I'll have to marry one of them one day. I'd hazard a guess that Maggie is the needy-type of sickie and Ryan is the leave-me-be-type. Of course, Ryan is famous for having said: "Marriage is sleeping in a room that's too hot, next to someone who's sleeping in a room that's too cold."

Weekend Follow Up: Slid out, cough up & camp in.

I've been ill. I wasn't feeling well Saturday. I decided as I slid around the highways Saturday night that I better just go home. Then for the first time in years I missed Sunday morning church because I was sick.

I tried to sleep but ended up watching idiots on the news slide into each other. Then I got a call canceling church Sunday night (so i'm off the hook, I only officially missed one service, I'll go twice next Sunday to make up for it). I couldn't bear to order a pizze in (because the man would have to drive on ice and I looked like death warmed over) but I did have pasta sauce Becky gave me to sustain me until I bear to leave the flat again.

Here are the symptoms of my illness:
1. Hotness
2. Occassionally coolness.
3. Lung-butter
4. Hallucinations/Delusions of granduer.
5. Fatigue
6. Growing a third arm.
7. The urge to redecorate my bathroom.
8. Desire to drink lots Wanda's secret "cough syrup" recipee.

To be honest I'm often #1. Also, #4 might be a result of me licking a tree frog to get over symptoms 2 & 3. And it turns out I just counted the left arm twice on #6. I conquered the urge of #7 by consulting the tree frog again. If you don't know about Wanda's recipee you'll have to buy the SRCC cookbook.

I hope none of you slid around on the ice (or had to stay home and mop up lung-butter)

This weekend started well, I went to an Arena Football game Friday and had a great time. I seem to only want to post a weekend roundup when it goes poorly... I dug back in the archives and found three or four "weekend followup/roundup/recap" posts search "weekend" above and click search this blog if you want to hear more about my uneventful weekends. When I did so I found these links:

Sickness - I was sicker back then than I was this weekend. I want to amend my statement on that blog that the next doctor I see I want to be doing my autopsy. I'd like to see a doctor about lasik and lapband before then.
How do we know it's monday? - As true today as the Monday it was written on, or was it Tuesday?
Weekend Follow up: Throw up, Set up, Hook Up - A post about 6 flags, VBS and people wanting to Hook me up with someone I already know.
The Weekend Update - Do you wish you "knew what you know now, when you were younger" or do you "didn't know now what you didn't know then"?
Another "The Weekend Update"- In which I discuss my grandmother passing away on my birthday. Darn, I had forgotten that.

This is why you shouldn't re-live the past. Most of my weekends were spent working, alone, sick or depressed. I think I can do better.

Duck Hunt

The origanl duck hunt game was a lot of fun on old NES. Although every kid I saw playing it would have the light gun pressed up against the screen like a total goon. Whereas I wondered why the cord was so short you couldn't get very far away. (Besides it is actually harder to hit the target with the gun up against the screen because you have to move your entire arm to follow the bird. A better distance to cheat from is like 18 inches. Then just a flick of the wrist would suffice.)

The one thing missing from this title was lawyers. There should have been more than just ducks (who frankly did nothing wrong) and start targeting attorneys. Here we see where Dick Cheney is a revolutionary.

People always think the vice presedent is totally useless job description. Their basic day goes like this:
7:00am Alarmclock goes off, snooze hit.
7:09am Wake up and remember your the VP.
7:11am Call the white house and ask, "How's the president?" "Fine, sir." "Darn."
7:12am Go back to sleep.

Sure the VP has that tie breaker thing in the Senate, but how often does that come up. Lets face facts, the VP has not been an interesting job since it the Presidential Runner-up who became the VP! (At least then you could make your opponent's life miserable.) Dick Cheney has invented a brand new perk of being the VP: Once a term you get to shoot a lawyer! (Too bad he didn't invent it during his first term.)

I think you'll have people lining up to be the VP, and think how much better behaved lawyers would be. "Objection!" Kablamo! "Over-ruled!"

Valentine's Day Recap

The blog has been down all day. Yesterday I promised to talk about V-Day. Here is the power point presentation I made for the church valentine's party.

Hallmark Greeting Cards Vs. Trey Laminack

It is best if downloaded and run on your PC. Also the jokes will be funnier if you read them out loud, preferably to a bunch of hooligans from your office.

The Lesser Olympics

Everyone knows the summer games are the Greater Olympics. Why? Because they contain a
higher percentage of real sports.

JenR and I got into a heated argument because she couldn't admit Figure Skating is not a sport. She tried to form a logical argument but sadly fell short. She lost her logical edge when she admitted under cross that Ice Dancing shouldn't be an Olympic sport. Aha! I expect most little girls think that they'd just love to be a figure skater. But sadly they can't, if you are not a genetic freak.

The IOC has a wacky system about what makes a sport a sport. For them the main thing is there is a nongovernmental worldwide agency or group responsible for it. (Thus no American Football.)

Here is my qualifications for a sport:
1) More than just difficult - I have no doubt that figure skating is difficult. I have no doubt less than 1% of the population can do that junk. But there needs to be more than that. There are other difficult activities that are not sports such as tightrope walking. Tightrope walking could be as Olympic as figure skating. Both are similar. Both pointless. Both made more difficult due to poor selection of footing (ice or rope). If you put tightrope walkers to music, and pretended to have a non-biased scoring system then it would be just as sporty as figure skating.

2) The Survival Rule -Survival of the fittest. I also think things are more likely to be a sport if they serve to reflect Evolutionary Fitness. I know some of you don't want to hear about evolution, just bear with me. If competing in this sport makes you a more fit human animal and increases your survival chances in a primitive world. (By primitive concede the ancient Greeks who founded the games.)

3) Truly Quantitative scoring - True scoring of this type is like the 100m Dash! Fastest time is the winner, no fuss no muss. Some sports have a qualititative element such as Figure skating and sadly snowboard halfpipe (which I do enjoy). Qualitative means some biased human has control of the event. I think some of this will always be necessary but the proportion must be correct. Currently figure skating is 55% qualitative and 45% quantitative (and 55 is bigger than 45 for those of you who don't do math). This means the judges opinions are more important than the actual routines mechanics. This ratio should be 10% qualititative at most!

4) More than just skill - I love chess but it is not a sport. A sport requires a physical element that chess and pinball just don't provide. This is a sacred cow for me because it includes some great games that should not be Olympic games like Darts and tiddlie-winks.

5) Exciting - Ok, this is arbirtrary but it helps me exclude the luge from the list of sports.

There is no perfect set of rules to determine what a sport is, but like the supreme court said about how you draw the line between art and pornography, "I know it when I see it."

Here are the two lists of sports. Bear in mind each sport contains numerous events.

Ok Here is a list of the AWESOME Summer Sports from the IOC website. (Feel free to click the links.)
Aquatics Archery Athletics Badminton
Baseball Basketball Boxing Canoe / kayak
Cycling Equestrian Fencing Football Gymnastics
Handball Hockey Judo Modern Pentathlon
Rowing Sailing Shooting Softball
Table Tennis Taekwondo Tennis Triathlon
Volleyball Weightlifting Wrestling
Did you question any of those? Nope. But get a look at the sad sacks they thrust on us for the winter games.

The Much Shorter List of Winter Sports. I'll give comments and a yes/no vote on if they should be an Olympic sport. (Also with links provided.)
Biathlon- Often overlooked. This is cross country skiing and then target shooting. This is very difficult and I would consider it a sport.
Bobsleigh - Rock on this is a sport. The pushing and working as a team fit the bill nicely. This sport is a sport but I don't like watching it. It's just the exact same 12 camera cuts, then a time is shown. But it is clearly a sport because the fastest time winner.
Curling - Ok this game is more than just skill like darts. It is more like bowling and thus it contains skill and a physical element, therefore it is a sport.
Ice Hockey - No contest, the best winter sport.
Luge - I think this sport should not be a sport. Anything that a person could do just as well with no training is not a sport. Basically those guys just lay there. But more importantly this sport is extremely boring. It would be better if there were forks in the luge path. And they had to do a math problem really fast and choose their answer. So it's like 100 yards from the fork a sign says "24/4 -3 +4 = X" Then the left for said "5" and the right said "7". If you choose wrong you end up being propelled into a brick wall. I'd watch that.
Skating - Ok be careful this one has a few sub-categories. I think speed skating is a sport. But ice dancing and figure skating of all varieties should be banned! Banned not just from the Olympics but from the face of the globe. Let them play in deep space where they be with own kind, freaks.
Skiing - This is pretty clearly all sport. On the edge of this category is moguls and halfpipe. They can stay on if the become more quantitative. The rest of the event is all about time, fastest time, first place, simple.

Yikes that was a long rant! Tomorrow I will vent on V-Day then I'll do some more Olympics stuff later in the week.

Project Nonconformity: Target Walmart

Your next assignment is Target Walmart!

Some of you cowards, wimps, and wastes of neural tissue tried to duck the last assignment by just not posting. This is a failure. In heaven you don't want to be the one saying "But Lord when did I see you at Walmart and didn't say anything to you?" Then he'll try to explain but you still won't get it. Then he'll nudge St. Peter who'll pull a big lever and a trapped door will open beneath your feet. Aaaaaaaah... Sizzle! I know I'm not the judge of your afterlife but Jesus was pretty clear that he likes this sort of stuff.

You still need to complete assignment You are NOT Welcome! Also posted there are the Rules and a little more about Project Nonconformity.

Ok Assignment: Target Walmart is a nice one because it has a lot of options. We all go to Walmart, next time you are there in the front of your mind the whole time should be, "How can I give someone a positive encounter with a Christian?" If this is on your brain opportunities will pop out to you. Here are some suggestions.

1) Buy gum for the person behind you in line. Or candy if their are children. $0.68 in Candy could change a family's life forever!
2) Offer to return the cart to for someone. (This I did this week to a woman in a handicapped space. She was please to learn young people are occasionally still polite.)
3) Get something off the high shelf for the short and/or elderly.
4) Gather up a few stray carts. This will work best if one is blocking a parking space. Wait for someone to try and part there then wave them over and move the cart out of their way. If you round up a bunch this is an act of service to the employees.
5) Offer correct change to the person in front of you.
6) Help carry or unload someone stuff. Again the elderly like this but anyone with 3 kids might appreciate the help as well.
7) Anything that is helpful and polite.

As always, the task is only half the assignment. The other half is giving the credit for this feat to God, Jesus, Christ, etc. If you just do the good deed, it is a selfish act. I don't want someone to think you are nice, I want someone to think Jesus is nice.

What I'm asking you to do is scary, simple and revolutionary. To think, the average lay-person could influence friends, family and strangers with their faith in action. I wish somebody had included this in the Bible (sarcasm on double time). Again, this task is very small!

Keep up your work on You are Not Welcome if you haven't completed it yet. I'll be waiting here to cheer you on when you succeed!

Rankings, Check below for our Two New Promotions.

Initiates Rank 1:
Lamb's Blog of Life List + Any new readers!

Witness Rank 2:
Acts 1:8 "You will be my servant in Jerusalem and to the ends of the earth."
SubBlogger
Jaton (Jaton is on the cusp of rank 3, "Laborer")
Promotion! Jennifer M - Way to GO!
Promotion! Hey Man - Awesome job.
(If you missed their experiences see the comments on You are NOT welcome.

Soldier Rank 5: General disarray (I'm about ready for rank 6)

Only two promotions, sigh. I didn't promote Ryan because I'm not giving a free pass to ministers. (That includes you too Danny and Mike. Although, as discussed in the Lamb's Blog of Life Mike-Cope-does-not-read-my-blog. Which is rude because I read his.)

Post your successes for this and any previous assignments below. Let me know if you can do something while shopping that is not for yourself. I believe in you! You have the tools! You have the talent! Bear in mind the only failure is the failure to try. If you try and get a negative reaction that is a big time success because you got over the inhibition.

A Story from Trey's Desk

I have no ideas to write about, so I'm going to make up a story about the stuff I see on my desk. Stuff from my desk is bold.

Once upon a time there was a Red M&M Man, called Red. He fell in love with the beautiful My Little Pony, named uhm... Pony. But their love was not to be, for her Evil Step Father Darth Tater wouldn't let it happen. Pony was heard to say, "Your not my father!" But Tater said, you will marry who I want you to marry and I choose That Big Inflatable Moose Head.

The two lovebirds knew their love was true because they consulted the love tester and the wise Bobble-Head Jesus. He told them their love could be consummated only after they acquire the Lengthy Loan Paperwork. This was depressing as the Loan Papers were guarded by the crafty Batman Pez dispenser. Although he was easily defeated by pulling his back and eating his sweet sweet neck candy.

Red, Pony and the Loan Papers made their way back through Daniel's Lion Den and past Noah's Ark and were married in the sight of the Galileo Thermometer beside Old Army Helmet Mountain.

The entire wedding party was there including their Minister The Cookie Monster, Junior Asparagus the ring bearer and A Light Bulb with Legs (but he wasn't invited he just crashed the wedding). Unfortunately all of them were crushed by 2 Foot Tall 'The Thing' who was angry because he didn't catch the garter.

And they all died happily ever after.

Well, that was a waste of time.

Just call me... Sheronda?

I'm not even sure how you spell Sheronda but you can call me that. Sharhonda? I've been getting calls on my cell asking for Sharonda. I've told them I'm not Shuronda but they don't care. Apparently, Sherhonduh owes them money.

I can't help but wonder...

Who is Sheronda? What is she like? Does she have a family? I know she doesn't have good credit based on the collection calls I've been getting. Is she a Christian? Is she a real Christy Christian or just the C&E Type?

I wonder if she has kids? And if so does she feed them well or just junk food? Does she make them order exclusively from the dollar menu? And if they order something else, why don't they ever finish their fries but refuse to share?

Is Sheronda married? If so to whom? IS her He-ronda a nice man? Does He-ronda help out with the kids and steal the fries they refuse to share. Or is He a lout or a drunk? A pauper or a prince? Does he know how to work with cars or does he open the hood but his hands on hips and look down in a knowing way into what might as well be the brain of shark for all he understand it?

Her name implies she's African-American... does she have sickle cell anemia? Or maybe she's the only white girl in the world named Sheronda. Think of the pressure she'd be under with that kind of name.

Why is she behind on her credit card payments? I she tight for cash? Did she have an accident and needs cash to repair her aluminium shark or God-forbid one of her child's arms? Or am I getting calls because she is scamming them with a fake number? Is she a domestic terrorist? Is it possible she's linked to "Albert Queda" wink wink?

And what if she's not even a woman? Or what if she's not even human. She could be Klingon, Martian or Vulcan. Or maybe, just maybe, she is whatever a Yoda is, but I doubt it they seem too wise to get into credit trouble.

I think I'm going to answer my phone, "Hello, Sheronda speaking" all day today and see if I can get more information? I don't want to be linked to a possible Vulcan Terrorist w/ a deadbeat husband, a bad credit score, a broken down car, and kids who don't finish their supper unless I have more info. Do I need a wire tap warrent to listen to my own calls now?

The Burnams!

First, take part of Project Nonconformity unless you are comfortable with a Sunday and Wednesday Christianity.

I had the privilege over the last two weeks to see Luke and Joe perform in their school plays. Both did a good job.

Joe was the Djinni (Genie) in Disney's Aladdin Jr. He was a living cartoon very animated and clearly he stole the show! They had all the music of the Disney musical. Joe was very good. What is really surprising about this show is that it is a JUNIOR HIGH production! Those kids really delivered more than I expected. Some kids had that voice changy thing going on during the songs. There was on gag where the from behind the flying carpet materialized a girlfriend for Genie! It happened so fast, I would think it was really magic. Good job Joe.

And then there was the Luke Show! He was Bobby in Crazy for you. And Crazy for You is the Bobby Show. Luke was in VBS last year and was one of the most mature members of my class (bear in mind he is a High School Sophomore!). So I knew he could act and sing. But out of nowhere a becomes the Dancing King. I mean he tapped and waltzed and maybe a foxtrot, I'm not sure. The Good News: He got to smooch two girls in the show. The Bad News: One was his cousin. Ha! I just couldn't get over how good he was. His show was burdened with overly complicated stage pieces and long set changes. But Luke rose above this easily.

But the biggest kudos I have is that both of these boys exhibited a very mature Christian attitude throughout their time in the spotlight. Both were gracious in accepting thanks and did not get a big head. Their parents are a model of church involvement and are raising a non-premodana talented family!

I might get in trouble if I don't mention that Lydia (their younger sis) is a drama queen of the highest order and will no doubt do great things too in a few years. She is in my LTC drama and I'm happy to have her.

Project Nonconformity: You are NOT welcome.

Welcome, Initiates, to Project Nonconformity.

I am your General, General Disarray. First, the rules:

The First Rule of Project Nonconformity is you DO talk about Project Nonconformity.
The Second Rule of Project Nonconformity is you DO talk about Project Nonconformity.
The Third Rule of Project Nonconformity is reading this blog and doing nothing is considered absolute failure, extreme cowardice and spiritually questionable.
The Fourth Rule of Project Nonconformity is you will share your successes and failures with the other Initates thru Servant.
(More rules to come)

Your first assignment (and you may not choose to not accept it so get out there and get over yourself):

Codename: You are NOT welcome.

You are no longer allowed to say "You're welcome." Moreover, you are required to try and elicit people to say "Thank you" to you, giving you a chance to not say "You're welcome." Don't worry you won't snub them. Instead you will say in a positive, shameless way one of the following statements:
* "Don't mention it, it's just my Christian upbringing."
* "I can't help it, I'm a Christian."
* "It's just how the Creator made me."
* (Shrug) "What would Jesus do?"
* "I'm happy to be a Christian servant."
* "I'm just being a Christian servant."
* Or another of your choosing but it MUST contain one of these words "Jesus, Christ, Christian, God, Creator, Jehovah" or the like. Saying "It's just my upbringing" and omitting the Christian is omitting the point.

Examples:
1) You get ahead of someone and hold the door open for them, hopefully they will say, "Thank you," leaving you the opportunity to rejoin them with one of the stock phrases you practiced alone in the car, "It's just my Christian upbringing."
2) You drop off a file at a coworkers desk, they don't look up but say "Thanks" you respond, "It's just how the Creator named me."

Ok, the purpose of this initial exercise is to get you over your inner feeling of shame, doubt and fear of failure. If people you work with don't know you are a Christian, maybe they really know you better than you think. Likewise, this exercise will have you witness briefly to strangers and see that they won't stone you or judge you. The worst that will happen is an eye roll, and if you've ever had children hopefully you are immune to this by now.

As required by rule 4, post your successes and failures here. I will be looking to promote some of you Initiates to Witness soon, there are 12 ranks, from Initiate to Servant. Chances are the person who tries and fails the most will be soonest promoted. Let's hear how Codename: You are not welcome is going.

If I could brag on my mother, she is already over this hurdle. She confided in me she wished she could do more to express her faith to her coworkers. But has also told me that coworkers ask her opinions about Christianity, revealing that SubBlogger has already fulfilled part of this mission. People in her office know she's a Christian! She's put herself on the line, exposed her private life and is ready to talk when God softens the heart of a coworker. It with great pride that I promote SubBlogger from Initiate to Witness.

Initiates Rank 1:
Lamb's Blog of Life List

Witness Rank 2: Acts 1:8 "You will be my servant in Jerusalem and to the ends of the earth."
SubBlogger
Jaton

Soldier Rank 5:
General Disarry (That's right, I'm not starting myself at rank 12!)

Addiction

When I worked at the Abilene Psychiatric Center I was privileged to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting for all 1st timers. It was very uncomfortable. Most of the people there were court appointed to attend.

Anyway, the host does his little schpeel about addiction and the 12 steps all the while the alcoholics are rolling their eyes and mumbling under their breath. Then comes the time when they wanted people to talk.

A parole officer told all of them they had to say something (even though the host didn't like it). Anyway they all got up and said the exact things you'd think an alcoholic would say:
"I'm not addicted alcohol."
"I can quit drinking anytime"
"I enjoy it, it's not a big deal."
"I can control my drinking"
"I don't have a problem but you guys sure do."

Ok, what's funny is that when ever someone else was trying to rationalize away their problem everyone in the room could see through their line of Bologna (yes I had to sing the song to spell that). But when it was their turn they said the same stuff. The host later told me that this is an important step. They have to witness everyone else in denial using the same excused they do before they realize they are in denial.

Transition to state of the union: "The United States are addicted to oil."
During both the Democrat and Republican responses to this (and even more so on talk radio this morning) you hear the mating call of the addict in denial:
"I'm NOT addicted to oil!" - Talk Radio this morning
"We can quit using oil tomorrow." - Guy on channel 13 after the speech.
"I enjoy using gas, it's a choice, I'm not addicted, it's not a problem." - "Larry" from Dallas, talk radio last night.
"We can control our use of fossil fuels." - Democratic rebuttal.
"I'm not addicted to oil, the Bush administration is." - John Kerry, Last Night!

Ok so some of those quotes aren't perfect because I didn't have a pen. But the truth is they reminded me so strongly of those AA people it was scary. I for one do believe we are addicted to oil and that it will be a big problem in the future: either because of our dependence on Saudi oil, or when it runs out in 30 years (actual estimates range from 15-40 years!)

Well, if you want to rant and rave and try to say you are not an addict by all means post a comment. But you'll just look like an addict in denial.

Project Nonconformity - Update
Starting Tomorrow you will be called to go out into the world but not conform to it. The early tasks will be brief, financially negligible and simple - to build up confidence. Those afraid to participate are cowards of the highest order. Those who join the revolution shall party with me in paradise tomorrow! (Although not actually tomorrow, don't worry it's not a suicide mission.)